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Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give youe opinion ?

#globalization #youe
In the globalization era,
technology
 has been rapidly growth because some academists develop
technology
 based on
science
. Personally, I believe that
science
 can support to enhance
people
's activities. So, I totally agree with
this
 statement. First and foremost,
science
 can create an abundance of technologies for working and
transportation
.
In addition
, some
people
 believe that some assignments can faster using
technology
 like a laptop or smartphone than using basic
science
 like calculating big data using paper which is
wasting
Replace the word
waste
show examples
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 to write in paper.
Furthermore
, some technologies use modern
science
 or machine learning because it is more quickly.
For instance
, some students at universities who using cloud computing to process big data more effectively and more efficiently to calculate or break down a lot of data. On the other reason, some
people
 use
science
 for developing
transportation
such
 as bridges, railways, and other infrastructures to support
people
's lives.
Moreover
, scientists still enhance public
transportation
 qualities which are highway designs and real-time updates using a geospatial approach. I believe that scientists can tackle some obstacles using
science
.
For example
, academists still developing new algorithms to enhance accuracy of the global positioning
such
 as traffic jams and estimation .
As a result
, all communities can monitor conditions in some places using a geospatial approach.
To conclude
,
science
 has an abundance
benefits
Change preposition
of benefits
show examples
 for supporting daily activities
such
 as working and studying. I believe that
science
 can enhance our quality which using
technology
 or
transportation
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
Ensure the essay directly addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of globalization, as well as clearly stating your opinion. This response seems to focus more on the benefits of science and technology, which is slightly off-topic.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by using clear paragraph structures, with topic sentences, support sentences, and examples. This helps improve the logical flow and cohesion of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion. The introduction should outline what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion should summarize the key points made and restate the opinion, linking back to the question.
task response
Example sentences should be directly relevant to the question prompt. Include examples that illustrate both the positive and negative impacts of globalization to balance your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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