many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access for software Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvanages?

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Nowadays several
people
Use synonyms
provide personal
information
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to technology websites and applications to obtain
access
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. Some
people
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believe that
this
Linking Words
trend has several disadvantages,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
argue that it is not harmful. I totally agree with the latter argument as ample reasons
present
Add a missing verb
are present
show examples
to substantiate it.
This
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essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
delve into both viewpoints and explain my support with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the
people
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who
against
Add a missing verb
are against
show examples
to provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
personal
information
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to online platforms claim that
data
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may
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
for
non stated
Add a hyphen
non-stated
show examples
purposes and fraud activities.
In other words
Linking Words
, personal
data
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can be used
to scam
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for scams
show examples
such
Linking Words
as hacking online bank accounts. To illustrate, one famous online platform's
customer's
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customer
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the dark web.
Besides
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, many business establishments are using client's private
data
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for business development. Many companies are using collected personal
information
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without consent for trading
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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, there are several advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
providing personal
information
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to online web portals.
Firstly
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,
internet based
Add a hyphen
internet-based
show examples
companies provide free
access
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to
users
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to the exchange of personal
data
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,
as a result
Linking Words
, downtrodden
people
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get free
access
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to
information
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.
For example
Linking Words
, YouTube, a free video
streeming
Correct your spelling
streaming
website of
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
,
is providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
free
access
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to all
users
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without any fee for the exchange of personal
information
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by providing personal
information
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,
users
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will get personalised service. In detail, technology companies require personal
information
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to give many targeted
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
like regional news updates, language settings,
delivering
Correct word choice
and delivering
show examples
personalised advertisements. In conclusion, Personal
data
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can be misused for business
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
and fraud activities are the major demerits
providing
Change preposition
of providing
show examples
private
information
Use synonyms
to websites for free
access
Use synonyms
. Ergo, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that personal
information
Use synonyms
is useful for not only to
be provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
tailored
servies
Correct your spelling
services
to the
users
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
free service to downtrodden
people
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of your stance and the essay structure. Incorporate a thesis statement that directly addresses the essay question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea, and ensure that all sentences within the paragraph are coherently connected to this main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging. This will also demonstrate your language ability to the examiner.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. While the essay includes some illustrations, adding more detailed and concrete examples can further strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Review and revise for minor grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal data
  • technology companies
  • user experience
  • tailored advertisements
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misuse of information
  • digital inequality
  • targeted advertising
  • consumer autonomy
  • behavioral data
  • ethical concerns
  • manipulative practices
  • artificial intelligence
  • machine learning algorithms
  • innovative technologies
  • data exchange
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