Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There are many arguments that there will be numerous issues related to society and real-world challenges if the residents are required to use another
language
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in parallel with the official one.
In
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From
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my perspective,
i
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I
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don't really go for
this
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assertion because of two reasons that
i
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I
show examples
will mention below. First of all,
the
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a
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second
language
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can enrich a country in terms of
economic
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economics
show examples
.
For instance
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, in Malaysia, Mandarin, English and Indian are widely used
beside
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besides
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the mother tongue, so
this
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helps Malaysia a lot in trading and exchanging smoothly with other nations
through
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throughout
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the world which gives
Malay
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Malays
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a huge
of
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apply
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potential
chances
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chance
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to improve their finance,
relation
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relations
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,
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and economic
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economic
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economics
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. Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign
language
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is
privilege
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a privilege
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, it costs no problems if we know how to exploit
this
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chances
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chance
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and protect our origin.
Next,
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knowing more than a
language
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will create
amount
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the amount
an amount
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of job
opportunitie
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opportunities
. Take my acquaintance as an example, she was obligated
learning
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to learn
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Mandarin when she was
at
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in
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kindergarden
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kindergarten
. She didn't like it
from
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at
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the
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apply
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first ;
however
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,
this
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was the main factor supporting her having her dream job in a big company when she grew
.
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up.
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In the modern city, the more languages you know the more flexible in job choices you have. To summarize, as long as we can preserve our official
language
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and cultural beauty,
don't
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and don't
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lead
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let
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it
being
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be
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replaced by another
then
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I
supposed
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suppose
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having one more
language
Use synonyms
plays a vital role. It will
contribute
Verb problem
make
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the country more diverse and erase many serious problems
such
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as unemployment
instead
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of bringing negative things.
Submitted by trangtrnh548 on

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Task Achievement
The essay sufficiently addresses the question prompt, but could benefit from exploring opposing viewpoints to provide a more balanced argument. Reference to counter-arguments and their refutation can enrich your essay and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay displays a good sense of structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically between sentences and paragraphs. Using a wider range of linking phrases can also enhance cohesion.
Task Achievement
While you provided examples to illustrate your points, incorporating more detailed, specific examples and possibly statistical information or research findings could strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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