IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

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Introduction
In the modern
world
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world,
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 more and more students wish to properly learn
English
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 in hopes of improving their chances of getting into universities abroad
as well as
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 various other job opportunities.
However
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,
due to
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such
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 thinking local
languages
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 are put at risk of dying out.
Body paragraph 1
In some regards the
English
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language
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 is advantageous to local
languages
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.
Ability
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The ability
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 to communicate in
English
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 can often provide an advantage in a job interview.
For example
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, having to choose between two equally capable candidates, employers will choose the one who can communicate in more foreign
languages
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. Being able to understand others in foreign
languages
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 can
also
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 make life more convenient at times when you wish to watch a foreign movie or read a book that has not yet been translated.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
mother
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the mother
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 tongue is an essential part
in
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of
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 a mature person’s life. Having been taught to speak, read and write in a
language
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that is
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 used among our family members and community gives a person a sense of belonging and
thus
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 is invaluable for most people.
Body paragraph 3
Without a doubt, local
languages
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 need to be cherished and used in our daily lives. There are endless opportunities to save
languages
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for
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from
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 extinction. A few ways include using the local
language
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 when advertising items and speaking to customers
as well as
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 spreading awareness about the importance of
mother
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the mother
show examples
 tongue.
Conclusion
All in all, I strongly disagree with the opinion that learning
English
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 is more important than studying local
languages
Use synonyms
 at school. Even though
English
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 is a great
language
Use synonyms
 to learn, local
languages
Use synonyms
 need to be used as well.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic effectively, providing a complete response. However, further development of specific examples could strengthen your argument. Try to give more concrete examples or case studies related to the preservation of local languages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more transition words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. For instance, use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the contrary' to show the relationships between your points.
task achievement
You provided a comprehensive response to the question, discussing both the importance of learning English and preserving local languages. This balanced approach is commendable.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. The clear division of paragraphs helps in presenting your ideas in an organized manner.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance. The reader is left with a clear understanding of your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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