Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things.
A group of
people
present the view that arts and cultural events are of paramount importance and the government should devote money to such
fields. However
, others believe that the government should undertake greater responsibilities in other vital problems
. I strongly agree with the latter opinion and my reasons will be described in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, some people
reasonably argue that there are many problems
nationwide which should be taken seriously. Economic progress plays a vital role in the success of different countries
. Therefore
, governments
are responsible for providing their citizens with a higher standard of living. They have to strive to reduce the cost of living and boost the quality of people
’s lives. Furthermore
, nowadays, environmental issues, such
as climate change, are global problems
that should be addressed by governments
. As a result
of environmental impacts, many wildlife species are in danger of extinction. This
can cause serious problems
for the food chain and human beings may face difficulties in providing their food.
On the other hand
, another group of people
claim that arts and cultural events provide a unique learning experience for all walks of life. They firmly insist that governments
should spend more money on these sectors to attract people
’s attention to them. However
, I do not find this
argument convincing as many developing countries
encounter a wide variety of more important problems
. For example
, in some African countries
, most people
find it difficult to meet their daily basic needs such
as food, clean drinking water and even appropriate shelters
. Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
Consequently
, their governments
should allocate their budgets to these sectors.
In conclusion, in my view, governments
should prioritize their problems
and tackle them. Environmental issues and economic progress are both of significant importance worldwide. Moreover
, poor countries
should pay more attention to their citizens’ needs as opposed to arts and cultural events.Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure more explicit linkages between paragraphs with transitional phrases to enhance the flow.
task achievement
Incorporate a broader range of specific examples, especially when discussing the impact of arts and culture versus other priorities. Doing so will strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively sets out a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support your argument, and a well-defined conclusion.
task achievement
You have successfully tackled the task, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with well-developed ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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