IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram shows the process of how to make smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the process of how to make smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram below gives information about the stages of procession products smoked
fish
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there are 13 steps
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
fish
Use synonyms
 from the water to purchase in markets or groceries. As can be seen from the diagram,
firstly
Linking Words
, the
fish
Use synonyms
 are caught in the oceans or the rivers,
then
Linking Words
 these are delivered to
port
Add an article
the port
show examples
 in order to
freze
Correct your spelling
freeze
free
 by a transport boat. The
fish
Use synonyms
 continuely are
throught
Correct your spelling
thrown
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 fresh water and cut open to eliminate something not
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
. After some time, the
fish
Use synonyms
 are
immeresed
Correct your spelling
immersed
 in salt water
mix
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
 with yellow colouring before
hunging
Correct your spelling
hanging
 up in a smoking machine and packaged into boxes. In the final stages of the process, after packing, once more
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
frozen, the smoked
fish
Use synonyms
 are kept in cold stores until they are ready to
distributed
Add a missing verb
be distributed
show examples
 to stores where they can be sold.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: