In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, nowadays
health
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care
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play
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plays
show examples
a crucial role
for
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in
show examples
quality
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the quality
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of living of
people
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, They argue that the
government
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should give them the benefits of the
health
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care
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system
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free.
In contrast
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many countries
people
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must pay
by
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on
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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. I strongly agree
with
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that
show examples
the
government
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should take
care
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the healthcare
services
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. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
,
firstly
Linking Words
the
health
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care
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system
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is important for
cost
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the cost
show examples
of living
in
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for
show examples
people
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.
Linking Words
Due to the
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The
show examples
cost of medical
services
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is so expensive
as a result
Linking Words
when
people
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get sick they will pay for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
services
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as
Correct word choice
which
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impacts
to
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apply
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
government
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should make public
welfare
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for medical
care
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to reduce
expense
Add an article
the expense
show examples
of
people
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.
Moreover
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, when
people
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have
welfare
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the stress from living would decrease meaningfully.
As a result
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to
Correct your spelling
it
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address other problems
such
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as
Correct article usage
an aging
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aging
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ageing
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society or low birth rate.
Additionally
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, the hidden
benefits
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benefit
show examples
of the
government
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health
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care
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service is taxation from the
services
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would reverse to the
government
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, because when
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
use the medical
welfare
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, they will utilize
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the
government
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hosipital
Correct your spelling
hospital
.
Furthermore
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, there are impact
to
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on
show examples
Correct article usage
the mediacal
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mediacal
Correct your spelling
medical
education
system
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, because they can generate
source
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sources
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of case
study
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studies
show examples
in the hospital for doctor students. Which
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as
Correct your spelling
has
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
result
Wrong verb form
resulted
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the development of
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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care
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technology and innovations for helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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.
To conclude
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,
many
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in many
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countries
people
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will pay for their medical
care
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and
services
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.
In contrast
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, some
people
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suggest that the
government
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should take action for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
services
Use synonyms
. I agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
should make
welfare
Use synonyms
for
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
system
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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Stylistic improvement
It's important to proofread your essay for any grammatical errors or typos to enhance the clarity of your argument. Consider employing synonyms to avoid repetition and make your essay more vibrant.
Specific Detail Enhancement
Try to elaborate further on examples to solidify your arguments. While your essay provides a strong stance, more specific examples could strengthen your points.
Structural Improvement
Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point. This will not only aid in the reader’s understanding but also enhance the logical flow of your arguments.
Content Strength
Strong stance on the importance of government-provided healthcare, effectively arguing its benefits for individuals and society.
Language Use
Good use of transition words to connect ideas smoothly, which enhances coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
Structural Strength
Introduction and conclusion are well crafted, providing a clear overview of the essay's position and succinctly summarizing the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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