Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anyre in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays which
availability
of products Add an article
the availability
are
increasing and more and more Change the verb form
is
people
becoming capable of buying the same goods anywhere and anytine
in the world . Correct your spelling
anytime
People
believe it is because countries
turning
similar day by day Wrong verb form
are becoming
besides
big online shops such
as Alibaba and Amazon have big
influence on Add an article
a big
this
development . This
change has both pros and cons but i
think it has more positive improvement than negative for Change the capitalization
I
te
world.
First of all , Our traditional trading structure Correct your spelling
the
has
changed Unnecessary verb
apply
long
time ago. Add an article
a long
Due to
technology
improvements , Replace the word
technological
people
become able to trade products online . Online shopping is way easier and consumers could
buy what they like from sellers . Wrong verb form
can
Transportating
is simple , Correct your spelling
Transportation
usually
Add a comma
usually,
people
delivered
their products by plane , car and human. In 2010 , Amazon started developing , at first it planned to become Wrong verb form
deliver
platform
Add an article
a platform
the platform
that
Correct word choice
where
people
could chat and share interest
with each other’s Fix the agreement mistake
interests
however
founder of Amazon changed into shopping
platformCorrect article usage
a shopping
Change preposition
in
people
trade stuffs
without meating and it provides Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
opportunity
to Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
by
something from another country . Because of online shopping Correct your spelling
buy
people
started to develop same
interests . Correct article usage
the same
people
from different countries
having similar hobbies is
becoming normal and they could become friends easily . Correct subject-verb agreement
are
People
from different countries
can share their culture
.
On the other hand
, Countries
losing thier
cultural heritage because Correct your spelling
their
lot
of Change the article
a lot
people
focusing Change preposition
on foriegn
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
insead
of Correct your spelling
instead
thier
own . All that availability of buying Correct your spelling
their
product
online destroys local markets and Fix the agreement mistake
products
thier
economy Correct your spelling
their
become
more and more weak .
In conclusion , Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
Invention
of online shopping Correct article usage
the Invention
changes
Wrong verb form
has changed
people
. More people
interst foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
countries
are becoming similar . Due to
this
change
Add a comma
change,
Correct your spelling
their
thier
local shops can not make profits but building similar Correct your spelling
their
Correct your spelling
interest
interests
interst
can help Correct your spelling
interests
people
become friends and share Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
culture
Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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task achievement
Your essay shows a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-rounded view on the positives and negatives of global uniformity in consumer products. To enhance your essay further, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. For even greater coherence, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a variety of linking words and phrases.
grammar
While your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring accuracy in spelling, grammar, and punctuation can refine your writing. Minor errors can distract from the message. Consider revising your essay for these aspects to achieve polish and clarity.
task achievement
You’ve skillfully identified and discussed both the positive and negative impacts of countries becoming more similar due to global consumerism, showing critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, providing a clear overview and a consolidated summary of your views.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.