As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society ?
As countries develop, their nations tend to live alone or in small family units.
This
is because of the improved quality of education and increased cost of living. However
, due to
this
trend, the birth
rate
among young individuals and interactions between neighbours has decreased significantly.
To begin
with, compared to the past, more people
are entering universities and studying further
. To be specific, the more people
are educated, the more they choose to pursue their careers rather than being married or having children. Furthermore
, the increased cost of living also
plays a key role in forming smaller family units. For example
, the youth are reluctant to have a child as it costs a fortune to raise a son or a daughter.
However
, due to
these factors, there are several impacts on society. First of all, the rate
of birth
has dramatically declined in recent decades. Notably, in South Korea, the birth
rate
was 0.03% in 2023 and various experts and press criticized that it was mainly due to
the ambition of achievement in professions. Secondly
, people
do not interact with their neighbours anymore. For instance
, a notable survey conducted by Korea University revealed that about 80% of the city residents answered that they had never talked to their neighbours. Hence
, communication between modern dwellers has been dramatically decreased.
To conclude
, indeed more and more people
opt for living individually or small
family units as a country experiences development. The major causes of Change preposition
in small
this
phenomenon are the increased number of well-educated individuals and the cost of living. Because of these factors, society illustrates a decreased birth
rate
and a lack of communication opportunities between residents.Submitted by aahhyu111 on
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Content Development
To further improve, try expanding on the effects of the trend with more varied examples (for instance, impacts on elderly care) or deeper analysis of the societal impacts. This will enrich your argumentation and present a more thorough understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For an even stronger essay, consider using a wider range of linking devices to show complex relationships between ideas, such as contrast or cause and effect more explicitly.
Language Accuracy
Be cautious of minor accuracy issues in expressions (e.g., 'raise a son or a daughter' could be 'raise children' to encompass both genders without repeating). Small adjustments in wording can make your argument more polished and concise.
Structure
Clearly structured paragraphs and coherent development of ideas throughout the essay.
Example Usage
Effective use of examples to support your main points, particularly with the reference to South Korea as a case study.
Task Response
The essay directly addresses both parts of the question (causes and effects) with clear, relevant ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...