Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion
People
are becoming concern
towards values to instill in their Change the verb form
concerned
children
. They have different views
weather
young Correct your spelling
whether
people
should be taught to be competitive or co-operative. While
a spirit of competitiveness can sometimes be useful in this
life
, I believe that the ability to co-operate
is more important.
On the one hand, competition can be a great source of motivation. When teachers use games or prizes to introduce an element of competitiveness into lessons, it can encourage Correct your spelling
cooperate
children
to work harder to undo the other pupils in the class. This
kind of healthy rivalry may help to build children
’s self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
pushing them to work independently and progress more quickly. When these young people
leave school, their confidence and determination will help them in competitive situations such
as job interviews. It can therefore
be argued that competition should be encouraged in order to prepare children
for adult
life
.
On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more important to prepare children
for the many aspects of adult
life
that require co-operation
. In the workplace, Correct your spelling
cooperation
adult
are expected to work in teams, follow instructions given by their superiors, or supervise and support the more junior members of staff. Team collaboration Fix the agreement mistake
adults
are
much more useful than a competitive determination to win. Change the verb form
is
This
is the attitude that I believe schools should foster in young people
. Instead
of promoting the idea that people
are either winners or losers, teachers could show children
that they gain more from working together.
In conclusion, I can understand why people
might want to encourage competitiveness in children
, but it seems to me that a co-operative
attitude is much more desirable in Correct your spelling
cooperative
adult
life
.Submitted by Qia on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay presents a clear, nuanced discussion on the importance of competitiveness and cooperation in children's development. Try to maintain clarity in your argument by being clear about your stance in the introduction and reinforcing it in the conclusion.
Supporting Examples
You've done an excellent job in providing clear, relevant examples to support your points. To further enhance your essay, consider intertwining more personal or widely recognized examples that directly relate to the argument for a stronger impact.
Cohesion and Coherence
Your essay flows well due to effective use of connecting words and a logical sequence of ideas. To add more sophistication, experiment with varying sentence structures and lengths for added fluidity and interest.
Task Response
You adeptly discussed both views, providing a balanced examination before presenting your opinion. This structure is commendable and aligns with the expectations of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of introductory phrases and paragraphing to structure the essay supports its logical flow, making your argument easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.