Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion
People
are becoming Use synonyms
concern
towards values to instill in their Change the verb form
concerned
children
. They have different views
Use synonyms
weather
young Correct your spelling
whether
people
should be taught to be competitive or co-operative. Use synonyms
While
a spirit of competitiveness can sometimes be useful in Linking Words
this
Linking Words
life
, I believe that the ability to Use synonyms
co-operate
is more important.
On the one hand, competition can be a great source of motivation. When teachers use games or prizes to introduce an element of competitiveness into lessons, it can encourage Correct your spelling
cooperate
children
to work harder to undo the other pupils in the class. Use synonyms
This
kind of healthy rivalry may help to build Linking Words
children
’s Use synonyms
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
pushing them to work independently and progress more quickly. When these young Linking Words
people
leave school, their confidence and determination will help them in competitive situations Use synonyms
such
as job interviews. It can Linking Words
therefore
be argued that competition should be encouraged in order to prepare Linking Words
children
for Use synonyms
adult
Use synonyms
life
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more important to prepare Linking Words
children
for the many aspects of Use synonyms
adult
Use synonyms
life
that require Use synonyms
co-operation
. In the workplace, Correct your spelling
cooperation
Use synonyms
adult
are expected to work in teams, follow instructions given by their superiors, or supervise and support the more junior members of staff. Team collaboration Fix the agreement mistake
adults
are
much more useful than a competitive determination to win. Change the verb form
is
This
is the attitude that I believe schools should foster in young Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Instead
of promoting the idea that Linking Words
people
are either winners or losers, teachers could show Use synonyms
children
that they gain more from working together.
In conclusion, I can understand why Use synonyms
people
might want to encourage competitiveness in Use synonyms
children
, but it seems to me that a Use synonyms
co-operative
attitude is much more desirable in Correct your spelling
cooperative
adult
Use synonyms
life
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Qia on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay presents a clear, nuanced discussion on the importance of competitiveness and cooperation in children's development. Try to maintain clarity in your argument by being clear about your stance in the introduction and reinforcing it in the conclusion.
Supporting Examples
You've done an excellent job in providing clear, relevant examples to support your points. To further enhance your essay, consider intertwining more personal or widely recognized examples that directly relate to the argument for a stronger impact.
Cohesion and Coherence
Your essay flows well due to effective use of connecting words and a logical sequence of ideas. To add more sophistication, experiment with varying sentence structures and lengths for added fluidity and interest.
Task Response
You adeptly discussed both views, providing a balanced examination before presenting your opinion. This structure is commendable and aligns with the expectations of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of introductory phrases and paragraphing to structure the essay supports its logical flow, making your argument easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.