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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #tourists
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Cultural
traditions
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 play an important role in community identity and preserving heritage.
However
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, there is a debate about whether using these
traditions
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 for
tourism
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 can lead to their destruction or if it's a necessary strategy for their preservation. On one side, the development of cultural
tourism
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 has several negative effects. The first impact is, that when
traditions
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 are marketed as tourist
traditions
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 , they can lose their true meaning.
For instance
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 , traditional festivals, ceremonies or crafts might be changed to entertain visitors , which may cause them to become extinct,
this
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also
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 leads to over-exploitation.
Additionally
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, the growth of mass
tourism
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 seriously affects the environment and natural resources,
such
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 as water and air pollution
due to
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 waste left by tourists, and noise pollution caused by uncontrolled mass
tourism
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.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that
tourism
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 is essential for keeping
traditions
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 alive.
First,
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the money earned from tourists can support local artists and fund cultural events.
This
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 financial support is the key to keeping various attraction sites from falling into disrepair. Another reason is our culture and
traditions
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 can be famous through tourist activities. Tourists can share pictures and stories about the area's culture with other friends or post them on social media.
This
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 both increases popularity and encourages the revival of
traditions
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, heritage and culture.
To sum up
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, there is no exact answer to whether developing
tourism
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 brings both positive and negative effects . The government should come up with the most optimal options and consider them carefully before making the decision to expand the
tourism
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 industry
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task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task more fully and develop your ideas in detail. For example, provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical progression and paragraph structure. At some points, transitions between ideas could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the context and presents the main argument.
logical structure
Good efforts at providing a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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