Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer work and personal calls at any time, 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Technological advancements
has
Change the verb form
have
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brought along many conveniences for everyone. With the invention of the telephone, we do not have
wait
Fix the infinitive
to wait
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for weeks to mail physical letters halfway around the globe in order to correspond with someone in the other country. The evolution of the phone to its portability counterpart the mobile phone brings along
much
Change the quantifier
many
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positives
as well as
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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drawbacks
due to
its portability. In
this
essay, I will delve into the two sides of
this
coin, using my personal encounters and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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my opinion on whether
this
development
have
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has
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more upsides or downsides.
Submitted by chubbybunny on

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Depth of Analysis
To further enhance your essay, consider exploring and contrasting a wider range of positive and negative effects of mobile phone usage in more depth. This could provide a broader perspective and stronger argumentation.
Use of Examples
Incorporate more specific, real-life examples or statistics to support your points. This could strengthen your argument by providing concrete evidence.
Structure Completion
While your introduction set up a promising argument, expanding your essay to include body paragraphs that discuss both the positive and negative impacts, followed by a conclusion summarizing your stance, would complete your essay.
Introduction
The introduction offers a clear and engaging beginning, setting up the topic effectively and showing a balanced view of the positives and negatives associated with mobile phone use.
Balanced View
Your willingness to explore both sides of the issue demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a balanced view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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