Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time raising their family, and therefore the government should support them financially. Do you agree or disagree?

The issue of
the
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apply
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motherhood
has sparked a heated debate among many. Proponents of the idea that
women
should
spent
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spend
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tremendous time raising children claim that
government
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the government
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has
power
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the power
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to organise financial help. It is widely argued that
motherhood
might be the most important role in
women
's
life
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lives
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, but
this
notion is not without its critics. I am
firmly
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firm
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of the belief that every woman should be able
make
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to make
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owm
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own
decision
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decisions
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in
such
complex
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a complex
show examples
area
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areas
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as parenting.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that
due to
sex
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the sex
show examples
revolution and
fight
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the fight
show examples
for
women
's rights by feminists, nowadays
women
can enjoy more freedom and choices in both their careers and personal lives.
This
shift has allowed many to pursue ambitions beyond traditional roles without sacrificing the essence of
motherhood
,
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if they choose to embrace it.
Secondly
, the notion that a woman's primary role should revolve exclusively around child-rearing overlooks the multifaceted nature of modern identities.
Women
today adeptly balance professional aspirations with personal commitments, demonstrating that
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
can come from various sources, not limited to parenthood.
Overall
, the conversation around
motherhood
should evolve to respect individual choice and recognize the diverse ways
women
contribute to society. The government's role,
therefore
, should be to support
women
's decisions through policies that offer flexibility and aid, whether they choose to focus on careers,
motherhood
, or a blend of both.
This
approach acknowledges the complex realities of contemporary life.
Submitted by juliashipovskaja on

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Writing Coherence
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Task Response
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Understanding and Insight
Your essay effectively addressed the topic, demonstrating a clear understanding and insightful reflection on the issue of motherhood and women's roles.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow and structure of your essay are commendable. Your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are well-organized, making your argument easy to follow.
Argument Clarity
Your position is consistently clear throughout the essay, and you support your arguments with appropriate reasoning. This shows a strong ability to engage with the topic critically.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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