Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that many people claim there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
a huge
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between
men
and
women
in the
jobmarket
Correct your spelling
job market
.
while
it is a commonly held belief
men
and
women
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
the same job regardless
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
gender there is
also
an argument
opposes
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opposing
show examples
it.In my opinion,I consider that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
are equal and they can do the same duty.
To begin
with,nowadays
Correct your spelling
job market
jobmarket
Correct your spelling
the market
has become more
Correct your spelling
professional
profeesional
Correct your spelling
professional
and
hence
they focus on the qualification more than gander.
In other words
,many companies seeking to
hier
Correct your spelling
hire
people can do their job in a
propreate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
way.
Moreover
,after the revolution of industry
women
and
men
working
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
equally that attitude
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
to
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the flourished
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flourished
Wrong verb form
flourishing
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the
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
in many aspects like
manufactoris
Correct your spelling
manufactories
manufacturing
and sports.
For
example
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example,
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china has the best economic system in the world duo to engage
women
in the job
markt
Correct your spelling
market
beside the
men
. Another point to consider
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
government seeking to
improv
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improve
show examples
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
Change preposition
of their
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their citizen
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its citizens
show examples
.It is possible to say that
this
attitude can improve the economic system because people have money to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
such
as shopping and food.
In addition
,
this
diversity can lead to make creative new opportunity for two gander. In conclusion,there are no easy answers to
this
question.On balance,
however
,I believe
men
and
women
have the same
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
.
Submitted by ahmad.a07 on

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Language Accuracy
Ensure accuracy in spelling and grammar to maintain the clarity and professionalism of the essay. For instance, 'gander' should be 'gender' and 'hier' should be 'hire'.
Sentence Variety
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. For example, consider combining related ideas into a single, complex sentence.
Specific Details
To further strengthen your argument, include more specific examples and data to support your points. This will make your essay more compelling and persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary
Pay attention to consistency in topic-specific vocabulary. This will help in articulating your points more effectively and in a more academically precise way.
Introduction
Your introduction clearly sets out your stance on the topic, providing a good foundation for the rest of the essay.
Logical Flow
The essay demonstrates a strong logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint, reinforcing your argument. It's well-executed.
Balanced Argument
You have correctly identified and addressed both sides of the argument before stating your own position, which is excellent for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
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