IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

GLOBAL WARMING IS INCREASING DAY BY DAY. WHAT EFFECTS DOES THIS PHENOMENON CAUSES ? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTION

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Global warming increases every day.
This
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 essay will discuss some of its
effects
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such
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 as loss of biodiversity and poor
health
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 of people. And some of the solutions to fight
this
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 is to increase
carbon
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 pricing among
companies
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 and to promote strict recycling. One of the
effects
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 of global warming in the world is the loss of biodiversity. The gas emitted by factories and fueled cars can lead to the accumulation of
carbon
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 dioxide in the environment which can harm and kill animals and plants. These deaths can lead to a disruption in the life cycle of all living things on Earth.
In addition
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 to that,
this
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 phenomenon can
also
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 lead to poor
health
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 of people. Global warming can lead to extreme weather to which humans are not accustomed and
as a result
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, people can experience
health
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 problems
such
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 as stroke.
For instance
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, in the Philippines, it gets extremely hot , especially in summer, and
this
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 has caused an increase in hospital admissions. One of the effective solutions to address
this
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 is by increasing
carbon
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 pricing , especially for
companies
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 that are using large amounts of fossil fuel. In
this
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 way, corporations can be forced to shift to using alternative energy.
Moreover
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, promoting strict recycling can help reduce the amount of garbage that needs to be burned.
Thus
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,
this
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 can help clean the air and decrease the amount of
carbon
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 emissions.
For example
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, Germany has implemented recycling in schools and
companies
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, and
as a result
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 `they are the cleanest country in the world. In conclusion, the detrimental
effects
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 of global warming can be seen every day, and some of its
effects
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 are loss of biodiversity and poor
health
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.
However
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,
this
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 can be solved by increasing the
carbon
Use synonyms
 price in
companies
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 and promoting recycling.

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example usage
Continue to enrich your essay with clear and relevant examples to support your points, as you've done with the situation in the Philippines and Germany. This enlivens the text and makes your arguments more compelling.
grammar usage
Ensure consistent use of tenses and accurate grammar to maintain the essay's professionalism and readability. Minor inaccuracies do not detract significantly, but polishing language use can increase the essay's impact.
logical flow
You've done an excellent job organizing your essay. To further enhance coherence, consider transitioning more smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. Connective phrases can guide the reader more fluidly through your argument.
complete response
Your essay successfully identifies critical effects and solutions related to global warming, providing a complete and informative response to the topic.
logical structure
You've maintained a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, with a strong introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a conclusive ending.
example usage
Your use of specific examples, such as the situation in the Philippines and Germany's recycling efforts, effectively supports your main points. This adds depth and relevance to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gases
  • renewable energy
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • heatwaves
  • droughts
  • coastal communities
  • methane
  • nitrous oxide
  • sustainable agriculture
  • global cooperation
  • environmental policies
  • conservation
  • sustainable living
  • habitat
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