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Band 6.5

some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #right #access #university #education #government #students #matter #background
There is an opinion saying that high educational
centers
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centres
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 fees must be paid by governments in order to be accessible to society regardless of
people
's ability to pay for it. Admittedly, I believe that universities and colleges need to be pay-free for the whole community owing to a number of compelling reasons.
To begin
 with, the most rational justification is that, the benefit of
this
 practice returns to the society and should be considered by governors.
That is
, the more
people
 are educated, the more they serve their nation by their capability,
therefore
; the money that has been founded by the government at educational
centers
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centres
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 goes back to the
people
 who are
Correct article usage
the authorities'
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authorities'
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authorities
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 responsible for
take
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taking
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 care of them . A good illustration of
this
 is doctors who survive plenty of patients
by
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with
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 the skills they have learnt at the university.
Furthermore
,
people
 pay taxes to get services from the government. Providing welfare
such
 as fee-free universities is The most important governmental role. Yet, another compelling argument about free higher education is that in the public, everyone should have the opportunity to make personal progress even those who can not make enough money to reach their goals. To put it differently, poorer levels of society stay away from continuing their education because they can not afford university tuition so they are not able to change their financial and cultural classes
while
 governments must pay attention to all social levels and their needs. Take a child who was born in a poor family as an example; he needs governmental support to have the chance to a promising future as much as other children.
To conclude
, considering the points discussed above, the bottom line is that everybody needs to access free education at all levels and authorities should provide it for all classes.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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Structural Improvement
Ensure a clear, consistent structure throughout your essay. While your essay is well-structured, occasionally clarifying the connections between paragraphs can enhance coherence.
Linking Phrases Variety
Incorporate a variety of linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay. You have used some effectively, but greater variety can make your points more cohesive.
Argumentation Depth
Work on refining your argumentation by providing even more detailed examples and elaborating on your points. You have made a good effort, but further depth could strengthen your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion, showcasing your ability to engage with the prompt comprehensively.
Main Points Support
You have demonstrated a strong ability to formulate and support your main points, making your argument compelling.
Prompt Engagement
Your essay thoroughly addresses the prompt, providing a complete response that engages thoughtfully with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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