IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #right #access #university #education #government #students #matter #background
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opinion saying that high educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 fees must be paid by governments in order to be accessible to society regardless of
people
Use synonyms
's ability to pay for it. Admittedly, I believe that universities and colleges need to be pay-free for the whole community owing to a number of compelling reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most rational justification is that, the benefit of
this
Linking Words
 practice returns to the society and should be considered by governors.
That is
Linking Words
, the more
people
Use synonyms
 are educated, the more they serve their nation by their capability,
therefore
Linking Words
; the money that has been founded by the government at educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 goes back to the
people
Use synonyms
 who are
Correct article usage
the authorities'
show examples
authorities'
Change noun form
authorities
show examples
 responsible for
take
Change the form of the verb
taking
show examples
 care of them . A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is doctors who survive plenty of patients
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the skills they have learnt at the university.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 pay taxes to get services from the government. Providing welfare
such
Linking Words
 as fee-free universities is The most important governmental role. Yet, another compelling argument about free higher education is that in the public, everyone should have the opportunity to make personal progress even those who can not make enough money to reach their goals. To put it differently, poorer levels of society stay away from continuing their education because they can not afford university tuition so they are not able to change their financial and cultural classes
while
Linking Words
 governments must pay attention to all social levels and their needs. Take a child who was born in a poor family as an example; he needs governmental support to have the chance to a promising future as much as other children.
To conclude
Linking Words
, considering the points discussed above, the bottom line is that everybody needs to access free education at all levels and authorities should provide it for all classes.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structural Improvement
Ensure a clear, consistent structure throughout your essay. While your essay is well-structured, occasionally clarifying the connections between paragraphs can enhance coherence.
Linking Phrases Variety
Incorporate a variety of linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay. You have used some effectively, but greater variety can make your points more cohesive.
Argumentation Depth
Work on refining your argumentation by providing even more detailed examples and elaborating on your points. You have made a good effort, but further depth could strengthen your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion, showcasing your ability to engage with the prompt comprehensively.
Main Points Support
You have demonstrated a strong ability to formulate and support your main points, making your argument compelling.
Prompt Engagement
Your essay thoroughly addresses the prompt, providing a complete response that engages thoughtfully with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: