The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The majority of
people
think the
government
is responsible for financial support and taking
care
of old
people
. Some of the other things the nation should earn
money
to take
care
of themselves when they are getting old. I will discuss both views and I give you my opinion. On the one hand, all over the world,
people
are getting old come to these cases and
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
of the country, it has many solutions. It would be convenient for
citizens
to live very easily.
Therefore
, They do not about worry themself.
For example
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
like ISREAL are very speedily developed
countries
. All the sick and old
people
give every month some amount of
money
for themselves.
As a result
, they are not afraid of themself.
This
country's
government
thinks they should take
care
of their
citizen
.
Secondly
, they should
care
about
citizens
for only
money
. They are given to them
also
for insurance like selfie
care
. it is helpful for their
citizen
lifestyle and healthcare too.
For example
, there is someone who gets sick or has an accident. They were given speedily their endurance. As a main solution, they can bring the ambulance without
money
and they are very quickly working.
That is
also
very helpful for the
government
to take
care
of its
citizens
.
On the other hand
, in the majority of other
countries
,
people
earn
money
themselves for their future lives. They work very hard and some small amount of
money
is kept in the bank for they are getting sick or getting old they can spend it.
For instance
, like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
SRI
LANKA
Add a comma
LANKA,
show examples
this
county
government
does not take
care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
its
citizens
. The majority of
people
deposit some
money
for their future.
That is
why, sometimes it is not enough to it life so They depend on their children. In conclusion, some of the developed
countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
care
about their
citizen
very much, and other
countries
do not
care
about their
citizen
. In my opinion, the
government
should take
care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
citizen
like
isreal
Correct your spelling
Israel
.
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

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structure
Try to maintain a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs discussing each view separately, and a conclusion that restates your opinion.
development
Work on developing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and examples. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
flow
Use connectors and transition words to improve the flow of your writing. This will help in linking ideas and paragraphs together, making your essay more coherent.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to enhance the clarity of your arguments. Consider revising your essay to correct any errors that could distract from your message.
example usage
When providing examples, ensure they are relevant and clearly support your point. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more impactful.
engagement
You have engaged with a complex issue, considering multiple perspectives.
examples
It’s commendable that you have attempted to support your points with examples.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, contributing to a well-rounded discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government responsibility
  • financial support
  • care
  • retirees
  • personal responsibility
  • retirement planning
  • social security
  • pension
  • benefits
  • concerns
  • dependency
  • adequate savings
  • elderly citizens
  • burden
  • welfare system
  • poverty
  • social safety net
  • financial stability
  • public funds
  • sustainable
  • reliable
  • case study
  • Japan
  • Sweden
  • United States
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