The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The majority of
people
think the government
is responsible for financial support and taking care
of old people
. Some of the other things the nation should earn money
to take care
of themselves when they are getting old. I will discuss both views and I give you my opinion.
On the one hand, all over the world, people
are getting old come to these cases and some
of the country, it has many solutions. It would be convenient for Change preposition
in some
citizens
to live very easily. Therefore
, They do not about worry themself. For example
, some of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
countries
like ISREAL are very speedily developed countries
. All the sick and old people
give every month some amount of money
for themselves. As a result
, they are not afraid of themself. This
country's government
thinks they should take care
of their citizen
.
Secondly
, they should care
about citizens
for only money
. They are given to them also
for insurance like selfie care
. it is helpful for their citizen
lifestyle and healthcare too. For example
, there is someone who gets sick or has an accident. They were given speedily their endurance. As a main solution, they can bring the ambulance without money
and they are very quickly working. That is
also
very helpful for the government
to take care
of its citizens
.
On the other hand
, in the majority of other countries
, people
earn money
themselves for their future lives. They work very hard and some small amount of money
is kept in the bank for they are getting sick or getting old they can spend it. For instance
, like a
SRI Correct article usage
apply
LANKA
Add a comma
LANKA,
this
county government
does not take care
for
its Change preposition
of
citizens
. The majority of people
deposit some money
for their future. That is
why, sometimes it is not enough to it life so They depend on their children.
In conclusion, some of the developed countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
care
about their citizen
very much, and other countries
do not care
about their citizen
. In my opinion, the government
should take care
for
their Change preposition
of
citizen
like isreal
.Correct your spelling
Israel
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Try to maintain a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs discussing each view separately, and a conclusion that restates your opinion.
development
Work on developing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and examples. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
flow
Use connectors and transition words to improve the flow of your writing. This will help in linking ideas and paragraphs together, making your essay more coherent.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to enhance the clarity of your arguments. Consider revising your essay to correct any errors that could distract from your message.
example usage
When providing examples, ensure they are relevant and clearly support your point. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more impactful.
engagement
You have engaged with a complex issue, considering multiple perspectives.
examples
It’s commendable that you have attempted to support your points with examples.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, contributing to a well-rounded discussion.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!