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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one ocuntry between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one ocuntry between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #ocuntry #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of using time of
elcetrical
Correct your spelling
electrical
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 in housework
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, there seems to be a steady upward trend in the consumption of
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
although
Linking Words
 there have been some fluctuations. Turning to the details,
Refrigeratior
Correct your spelling
Refrigerator
Refrigerators
Refrigeration
 started at 0%, which means no one
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
,
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 1920, but the following year, in 1940, the number of users increased significantly to approximately 55%.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
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, the figure experienced
Correct article usage
a continous
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continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 rising, reaching around 100% in 1980,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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same
Change the article
the same
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 ratio until 2019. To the
next,
Linking Words
Vaccum cleaner recorded 30% in 1920 and increased steadily, reaching nearly 100% in 1980 and
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealing
show examples
 little change until 2019.
Lastly
Linking Words
, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
show starting
Wrong verb form
started
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to
Change preposition
at
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 approximately 40% in 1920 and was on the growth to around 72% with small fluctuations, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1980,
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2019.
Submitted by dlwltn6615 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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