IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern era, it is common for
people
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 to believe that working in an international company is the most effective method
to learn
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of learning
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 new
cultures
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.
This
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 writer agrees with
this
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 because of the travelling opportunities and new
relationships
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.
To begin
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 with, it is vital to understand that having an occupation in a continental corporation offers individuals with chance to work abroad.
This
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 is because multinational organizations have many different
branches
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 in other
nations
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 which might be in a workforce shortage;
therefore
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, they sometimes send spare workers to these
nations
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 to help
functioning
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to function
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 the company.
As a result
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, individuals can work in another region and learn about the culture of that place.
For instance
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, Samsung has so many
branches
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 all over the world that they exchange their employees pretty often and
people
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 can use these opportunities to acknowledge
cultures
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.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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 must be considered that understand new
cultures
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 by developing new
relationships
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. Since international companies first started in their original countries, they have the strongest and the most experienced workers working in their original
nations
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. Because of that, in order to improve the productivity in
branches
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 from different
nations
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, they will have to transfer the skilful workers to these
branches
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 which will offer
people
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 from different nationalities a chance to meet, form new
relationships
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, and learn about
cultures
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. Take Google as a contextual example,
this
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 giant employs citizens worldwide and
this
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 helps many communities create acquaintances and share
cultures
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. In conclusion,
people
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 can study new
cultures
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 via travelling chances and new
relationships
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 essay has provided clear points to demonstrate the author's agreement with the statement that working in a multinational corporation is the best way to pick up new
cultures
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.

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task achievement
Add more diverse examples to strengthen the points. While Samsung and Google are good examples, incorporating another industry or context might provide a more comprehensive picture.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make transitions between points smoother to enhance the logical flow of the essay. For instance, the shift from travelling opportunities to forming new relationships could be made more seamless.
general
Be careful with minor grammatical errors, such as 'having an occupation in a continental corporation offers individuals with chance' which should be 'offers individuals the chance'. These errors don't significantly detract from your point but could be smoothed out for greater clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument that working in a multinational organization provides exposure to different cultures.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, framing the essay nicely and summarizing the points made.
task achievement
Relevant examples such as Samsung and Google effectively illustrate the points being made, adding credibility to the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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