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Band 6.5

The topic is about the advantages and disadvantages of university abroad studying

#topic #university
These days, abroad studying has become more common than ever for university
students
, some people think that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks of
this
 thing, and I disagree with them, i will clearly explain the reasons for
this
 topic. On the one hand, abroad studying can be very beneficial for university
students
, as they will have the opportunities to learn and explore
a
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new skills and
a
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new cultures
and
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,
for instance
, here in Saudi Arabia
the
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education for abroad
students
 is paid for by the government just to make sure that the
students
 get a high-quality education from the top universities in all over the world,
as a result
, the
students
 will gain new skills and will learn new languages
such
 as English, Spanish and German. By the time they will get back the
students
 for sure will apply the knowledge and skills they learn to benefit their country.
On the other hand
, the
students
 that were sent abroad to learn could be not qualified and worthy of the trust that their country, family and friends gave them,
for example
, a famous person from Saudi Arabia was sent abroad by our government and he was not mature enough to take
this
 responsibility,
as a result
,
this
 person was known later as a drug dealer and a rubber, even though he got a great and amazing opportunity that many
students
 dream of,
instead
, he brought shame in our country.
To conclude
, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks of studying abroad as I believe
that
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that the
students
 who are not worthy of
this
 opportunity represent only a small percentage, and the benefits will outcome the drawbacks.
Submitted by WALED6006 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try varying your connecting words instead of repeating phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'. Utilize synonyms or alternative expressions to introduce contrasting points.
task achievement
Focus on refining the presentation of your examples. Ensure they are fully integrated into your argument, illustrating your points clearly and directly. This will make your supporting evidence more compelling.
general
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos, as they can distract from your message. Regular proofreading can help to minimize these errors, ensuring a more polished submission.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, presenting the topic and your stance clearly. This helps to guide the reader's expectations.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages, which makes your argumentation persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance, making your position clear and leaving a strong impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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