Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is often believed that
people
feel the happiest during their youth. However
, some people
are sceptical about this
as the happiest feeling adults
experience outweighs that of young adults
despite their growing responsibilities. I partially support the former view, for more diverse experiences young people
have regardless of an increasing sense of satisfaction among responsible adults
.
On the one hand, the feeling of happiness among young people
is generally higher than that of adults
because their age does not prevent them from exploring various adventures. In other words
, they are more likely to make their dreams come true even if it comes with some risks. For instance
, I was satisfied the most with a boat trip around the world at the age of 20, which allowed me to encounter people
from different nationalities from Switzerland to China in spite of a long journey which took 320 days. This
experience is still valuable to me, making me more confident and challenging than ever.
On the other hand
, adults
tend to feel more accomplished with their work
due to
their superior work
experiences. Even though senior jobs come with greater responsibilities, they are often more proud of their growing commitment to their work
. Furthermore
, their special and sophisticated skills not only lead to higher productivity and education for young employees but also
substantial rewards such
as promotion and a higher salary. Thus
, they are more likely to gain trust and respect from others, which young people
cannot easily obtain.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that a
level of happiness among the young exceeds that of Correct article usage
the
adults
because of more
adventurous experiences they can have without worrying about their health much. Correct article usage
the more
Nevertheless
, an increasing sense of pride and accomplishment resulting from a longer contribution to work
is unique to adults
.Submitted by mizuho on
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task response
You've effectively discussed both views and provided your own opinion, which fulfills the task requirements well. However, clarifying and expanding on the reasoning behind your personal stance can strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs, which aids in the readability. However, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow further.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction sets up the discussion topic clearly, and your conclusion summarizes the main points succinctly.
supported main points
The examples provided are relevant and help in illustrating your points effectively.