While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion?

#prison #place #criminals

Crimes have always been part of

societies

Fix the agreement mistake

society

show examples

Hence

, worldwide governments have evaluated the best ways to deal with offenders.

Nevertheless

although

many people argue that imprisonment has to be

the

Correct article usage

show examples

unique punishment, some others believe that different options could have better outcomes. Here, I am going to explain why I think that both, either

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

or other

penalities

Correct your spelling

penalties

show examples

, should be considered.

Firstly

, there are many types of crimes

as well as

lawbreakers.

For

this

reason, characteristics of the illegal act that was

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

such

as gravity, consequences, and people

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

involved

Change preposition

show examples

it, must be evaluated.

For instance

terrorism,

murders

Fix the agreement mistake

murder

show examples

, human trafficking or child abuse are major crimes,

then

severe penalizations have to be applied.

However

pick

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pocketting, traffic offences and vandalism are minor offences and

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

sanctions should be personalized respectively.

On the other hand

, prisons are sponsored by public financial resources and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

represents

Correct subject-verb agreement

represent

show examples

large expenses yearly.

Besides

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

research

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

shown that consequences

such

as mental diseases and recidivism could be outcomes owing to

behivours

Correct your spelling

behaviour

and violence that are lived in jail.

For example

, in El Salvador, offenders

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are in prison are nacked and have been beaten as a punishment.

Then

, community services, fines, etc, have to be evaluated as a method of penalization.

To sum up

, prison is required as a punishment depending on

severity

Add an article

the severity

show examples

and reasons why a

transgession

Correct your spelling

transgression

was

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

However

, there are many ways to

stablish

Correct your spelling

establish

penalties that should

be contemplate

Change the verb form

be contemplated

be contemplating

show examples

among offenders.

Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Fri Mar 29 2024

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Language accuracy

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor spelling and grammar mistakes. For instance, 'prison' instead of 'prision', and 'behaviors' instead of 'behivours'. These small errors can slightly distract from the overall quality of your writing but are easily corrected.

Argument depth

To enhance your argument, consider including more varied and specific examples. While you mentioned different types of crimes and punishments, providing real-world examples or case studies could strengthen your points.

Consistency

Try to ensure a consistent viewpoint throughout your essay. While you mentioned that both prison and other penalties should be considered, clearer statements on your stance in the introduction and stronger links between paragraphs could improve clarity.

Content

You displayed a good understanding of the essay topic, providing a balanced view on the subject of criminal punishment which is commendable.

Structure

Your essay structure is clear, with a coherent introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. This organization makes your argument easy to follow.

Complexity

You've shown a good ability to discuss complex issues with explanations of different types of crimes and a range of sanctions, reflecting a mature understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion?

Word Count

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that advertising on tv is useful for viewers while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.