Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.
What contributes to a person’s
success
and achievements has been a topic of many discussions and some attribute it to luck
. While
luck
has its fair-share contribution to what people
can achieve, other factors such
as a person’s financial background and persistence play a much bigger role.
Accidental success
and achievements have occurred frequently throughout history. In other words
, there are instances where individuals unintentionally accomplish something significant by being in the right place at the right time. The discovery of North America by Christopher Columbus serves as a notable example. Despite intending to sail to India, Columbus accidentally arrived in America. Nevertheless
, this
achievement is celebrated, and Columbus is praised as the first person to explore the other side of the Atlantic.
In my opinion, however
, attributing most success
stories to luck
appears to be simplistic as there are more important factors at play. One is a person’s financial background. People
who are born into affluent families are better positioned to achieve success
than those from financially disadvantaged backgrounds. This
advantage stems from the easy access to education and networking opportunities that wealthy individuals typically have, which greatly increases their likelihood of succeeding in various aspects of life.
Persistence is another important element. Those who possess this
trait often work tirelessly towards their goals even when they are faced with obstacles and setbacks. By contrast
, people
who easily give in hardly achieve success
. Take J.K Rowling – the author of the much-loved series of Harry Potter. Despite being rejected by twelve publishers, she persisted in her efforts, which eventually led to her well-deserved success
and fame.
In conclusion, I acknowledge that people
’s achievements can be due to
good fortune. However
, I believe the main drivers behind the success
of many people
are not luck
but rather financial security and persistence.Submitted by kmuxayyo97 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Try to develop a slightly broader range of examples to broader your discussion, not limiting to famous historical events or personalities. This diversification can further enrich your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, using a variety of linking phrases can enhance the flow from one paragraph to another, ensuring smooth transitions and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Considering a more nuanced discussion that acknowledges exceptions or varying perspectives could deepen the analysis and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the subject matter.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the topic and your stance on it, which aids in coherence.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Christopher Columbus and J.K. Rowling, strongly supports your main points and helps illustrate your argument effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with clear progression from the introduction through body paragraphs to the conclusion, significantly contributes to its readability and coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!