You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, technology plays a crucial role in our daily activities. In terms of accessing updated
information
, people shifted from reading a
newspaper
to reading on the internet. Both platforms have many advantages and disadvantages.
This
essay will elaborate both views,
also
the writer's opinion. The advantages of using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to receive
a
Remove the article
news
a piece of news
show examples
news
are it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
the most updated content within a
small
Correct word choice
short
show examples
period of time. Journalists and editors can publish their articles as soon as they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
the idea, and users can check it immediately.
Additionally
, every online
users
Change to a singular noun
user
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can post anything on social media platforms.
However
, there will always be
a drawbacks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a drawback
drawbacks
show examples
. Since everyone can post anything without
filter
Correct article usage
a filter
show examples
, the
news
might not be valid.
This
could lead to
give mislead
Wrong verb form
misleading
show examples
information
or
hoax
Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
newspaper
is now becoming a thing
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the past. Years ago, people
receive
Wrong verb form
received
show examples
a
newspaper
every morning
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their yard. One of the
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
using
Change preposition
of using
show examples
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
is only
journalist
Fix the agreement mistake
journalists
show examples
can write the
news
, so it
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
the chance of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
valid
information
. Meanwhile, there are some disadvantages.
Firstly
, it takes time to write, edit, print and distribute the paper.
Therefore
, the breaking
news
may be not up to date.
Furthermore
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
since the platforms are paper, it is more costly and
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
show examples
a lot of paper to produce it. In my opinion, I prefer to get the
information
electronically as it will give the most updated and the
more
Rephrase
most
show examples
detailed
news
.
Moreover
, as a reader, we can
also
interact directly with the writer and give our comments regarding the
news
.
Submitted by shafa.ifdial on

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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but try to directly address the prompt by stating your position clearly in the introduction to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but consider using more varied transitional phrases to show relationships between ideas more explicitly and improve flow.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or personal experiences. This will add depth to your discussion and make your points more compelling.
Balance
Ensure to discuss both sides of the argument equally before presenting your own opinion. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Content Depth
Be cautious of general statements without substantiation. Adding sources, even hypothetical, can add credibility to your claims.
Content Understanding
You successfully discussed the advantages and disadvantages of both newspapers and online news, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints and reaffirms your stance, which strengthens the overall coherence of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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