You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #internet #newspapers

Nowadays, technology plays a crucial role in our daily activities. In terms of accessing updated

information

, people shifted from reading a

newspaper

to reading on the internet. Both platforms have many advantages and disadvantages.

This

essay will elaborate both views,

also

the writer's opinion. The advantages of using

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

to receive

Remove the article

news

a piece of news

show examples

news

are it

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

the most updated content within a

small

Correct word choice

short

show examples

period of time. Journalists and editors can publish their articles as soon as they

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

the idea, and users can check it immediately.

Additionally

, every online

users

Change to a singular noun

user

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can post anything on social media platforms.

However

, there will always be

a drawbacks

Correct the article-noun agreement

a drawback

drawbacks

show examples

. Since everyone can post anything without

filter

Correct article usage

a filter

show examples

, the

news

might not be valid.

This

could lead to

give mislead

Wrong verb form

misleading

show examples

information

hoax

Fix the agreement mistake

hoaxes

show examples

On the other hand

newspaper

is now becoming a thing

Change preposition

show examples

the past. Years ago, people

receive

Wrong verb form

received

show examples

newspaper

every morning

Change preposition

show examples

their yard. One of the

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

using

Change preposition

of using

show examples

newspaper

Correct article usage

a newspaper

show examples

is only

journalist

Fix the agreement mistake

journalists

show examples

can write the

news

, so it

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

the chance of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

valid

information

. Meanwhile, there are some disadvantages.

Firstly

, it takes time to write, edit, print and distribute the paper.

Therefore

, the breaking

news

may be not up to date.

Furthermore

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

since the platforms are paper, it is more costly and

waste

Change the verb form

wastes

show examples

a lot of paper to produce it. In my opinion, I prefer to get the

information

electronically as it will give the most updated and the

Rephrase

most

show examples

detailed

news

Moreover

, as a reader, we can

also

interact directly with the writer and give our comments regarding the

news

Submitted by shafa.ifdial on Sat Mar 30 2024

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Introduction

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but try to directly address the prompt by stating your position clearly in the introduction to enhance clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, but consider using more varied transitional phrases to show relationships between ideas more explicitly and improve flow.

Task Achievement

To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or personal experiences. This will add depth to your discussion and make your points more compelling.

Balance

Ensure to discuss both sides of the argument equally before presenting your own opinion. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Content Depth

Be cautious of general statements without substantiation. Adding sources, even hypothetical, can add credibility to your claims.

Content Understanding

You successfully discussed the advantages and disadvantages of both newspapers and online news, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints and reaffirms your stance, which strengthens the overall coherence of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders.

It is often said “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”. Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they visit? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.

In many countries, an increase in crime has be blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree