You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, technology plays a crucial role in our daily activities. In terms of accessing updated
information
, people shifted from reading a newspaper
to reading on the internet. Both platforms have many advantages and disadvantages. This
essay will elaborate both views, also
the writer's opinion.
The advantages of using internet
to receive Add an article
the internet
a
Remove the article
news
a piece of news
news
are it give
the most updated content within a Change the verb form
gives
small
period of time. Journalists and editors can publish their articles as soon as they Correct word choice
short
got
the idea, and users can check it immediately. Wrong verb form
get
Additionally
, every online users
Change to a singular noun
user
,
can post anything on social media platforms. Remove the comma
apply
However
, there will always be a drawbacks
. Since everyone can post anything without Correct the article-noun agreement
a drawback
drawbacks
filter
, the Correct article usage
a filter
news
might not be valid. This
could lead to give mislead
Wrong verb form
misleading
information
or hoax
.
Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
On the other hand
, newspaper
is now becoming a thing on
the past. Years ago, people Change preposition
of
receive
a Wrong verb form
received
newspaper
every morning on
their yard. One of the Change preposition
in
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
using
Change preposition
of using
newspaper
is only Correct article usage
a newspaper
journalist
can write the Fix the agreement mistake
journalists
news
, so it increase
the chance of Change the verb form
increases
a
valid Remove the article
apply
information
. Meanwhile, there are some disadvantages. Firstly
, it takes time to write, edit, print and distribute the paper. Therefore
, the breaking news
may be not up to date. Furthermore
, it
since the platforms are paper, it is more costly and Correct pronoun usage
apply
waste
a lot of paper to produce it.
In my opinion, I prefer to get the Change the verb form
wastes
information
electronically as it will give the most updated and the more
detailed Rephrase
most
news
. Moreover
, as a reader, we can also
interact directly with the writer and give our comments regarding the news
.Submitted by shafa.ifdial on
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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but try to directly address the prompt by stating your position clearly in the introduction to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but consider using more varied transitional phrases to show relationships between ideas more explicitly and improve flow.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or personal experiences. This will add depth to your discussion and make your points more compelling.
Balance
Ensure to discuss both sides of the argument equally before presenting your own opinion. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Content Depth
Be cautious of general statements without substantiation. Adding sources, even hypothetical, can add credibility to your claims.
Content Understanding
You successfully discussed the advantages and disadvantages of both newspapers and online news, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints and reaffirms your stance, which strengthens the overall coherence of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example