Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?
Nowadays, many individuals are opting for
self-employment
over traditional employment within companies or organizations. This
trend may stem from several reasons, but it also
presents certain disadvantages.
One primary motivation for people choosing self-employment
is the
dissatisfaction with the income earned from conventional jobs. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in Thailand, where I reside, the minimum salary for university graduates is set at 15,000 baht per month. Many recent graduates find this
income insufficient to meet their needs and aspirations, prompting them to explore entrepreneurial ventures. Additionally
, some individuals are driven to self-employment
due to
negative workplace environments. The unpleasant behavior
of superiors or colleagues can lead employees to seek independence by starting their own businesses.
Change the spelling
behaviour
However
, self-employment
comes with its own set of challenges. One notable disadvantage is the sole responsibility of handling various business difficulties. Unlike employees who can rely on support systems within organizations, entrepreneurs must navigate obstacles independently. Moreover
, even during periods of financial loss, self-employed individuals are burdened with fixed expenses such
as employee wages, raw materials, and rental fees, which can exacerbate financial strain.
In conclusion, while
the choice of self-employment
offers autonomy and potential financial rewards, it also
entails significant risks and responsibilities. The decision to pursue entrepreneurship should be carefully weighed against the potential drawbacks to ensure informed choices and sustainable business ventures.Submitted by yanaphonthi on
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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement. Using a mix of complex, compound, and simple sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. Personal or widely recognized examples can provide stronger support for your points.
task achievement
While your essay provides a good overview, aim to delve deeper into each point. Expanding on the reasons behind the trend towards self-employment and its disadvantages would offer a more comprehensive understanding to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement, which is excellent for guiding the reader.
task achievement
You successfully identified both sides of the argument regarding self-employment, providing a balanced view.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...