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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
Some
people
 say that the frequent use of
computers
 in education is a positive trend. Contrary to the positive view, other
people
 believe that it will lead to negative consequences. From my perspective, I agree with the first viewpoint because the positive effects of using
computers
 are much more than the negative effects. It is admitted that many advantages can be achieved by operating
computers
 in the study. The most important thing in learning is knowledge or data, and
computers
 definitely help by giving broad access to
information
 from all over the world. Applying these continuously will increase the digital literacy of the public and impact the rise of
Information
 Technology utilization in all sectors
such
 as health, business, and education.
For instance
, using e-learning or the internet as a main source for teaching will make
people
 get used to doing business in a modern way,
such
 as marketing products on social media.
However
, there are
also
people
 who affirm that using a computer will bring negative consequences. There is bad and good
information
 which we can access by computer, but almost no filtering.
Furthermore
, a lack of rules for using
this
information
 on the Internet can lead to misuse of intelligence, the chance to commit digital crimes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and bad habits which give disadvantages to ourselves and others.
For example
 case in point, harm to the copyright.
Besides
, wasting time on social media or
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 can lead to forgetting the social interaction in life. In conclusion,
although
 the influences of using
computers
 in learning are highly dependent on the person who uses them, there are many great benefits, especially in country development which we can receive in the future if we use them in a good way.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction Enhancement
Ensure your introduction clearly states both views being discussed before offering your opinion. This provides a strong foundation for your essay.
Conclusion Strengthening
In your conclusion, try to succinctly restate the main arguments before reaffirming your stance. This strengthens the overall persuasive power of your essay.
Argument Specificity
While discussing the negative aspects, try to be specific about the types of information and habits that can cause harm. This specificity adds depth to your argument.
Example Enhancement
Incorporate more detailed examples or personal experiences to bolster your arguments. This greatly enhances the authenticity and relatability of your essay.
Balanced Perspective
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of using computers in education.
Effective Examples
The use of specific examples, like the impact of digital literacy and information technology utilization, aids in illustrating your points more vividly.
Logical Structure and Transition
Your essay flows well, with logical transitions that make it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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