The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period.

The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period.
The pie charts compare data on the evolution of tourism in
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
and Germany from 1960 to 2010.
Overall
, Australia’s tourism has had varying nationalities of tourists during those 50 years.
On the contrary
,
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
seightseeing
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sightseeing
industry has stayed almost the same with the exception of two origins. In Australia, European tourists used to represent almost 53% of the whole
while
Asia’s
Change noun form
Asia
show examples
would
Verb problem
apply
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only
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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up 10% of the Australian
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
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industry. Yet, in 2010, Asia’s percentage of tourists in that country has
immensly
Correct your spelling
immensely
grown reaching over 60%.
On the other hand
, American and British sightseers only represented 22%, in 1960, and 27%, in 2010. In Germany, the
seightseers
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sightseers
statistics stayed similar over the years except for Britain’s
touristic
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tourist
show examples
mass,
whom
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who
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went from taking up 20% of the market to only 6% in the second chart.
Furthermore
, European foreigners’ percentages have slightly decreased
of
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by
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5% during those 50 years.
Finally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asian representation in Germany has importantly increased reaching 25% in 2010
while
they used to only constitute 10% of the German market.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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