Large companies often use sports events to promote their products.Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sports
events
are widely used among big companies in order to attract attention
to their products, but some people believe that they have their cons. I partially agree with this
statement, as excessive emphasis on advertising can overshadow the game, but at the same time, it can be positive as it offers crucial funding.
Overattention to advertising and sponsorship can overshadow the actual sporting events
. This
can lead to interruptions, and viewers focus on revenue generation rather than the sport itself. For instance
, in Australia, revenue that was allocated to sports
events
was full of advertising posters that attracted viewers' attention
and were not concentrated on the game. Thus
, as advertisements
attract a lot of attention
, it would be good if they were not displayed at sporting events
. On the other hand
, advertisements
can be beneficial for sports
by offering funds. Modern facilities, equipment, and food supplies used in sports
require money, and not every company can afford such
kinds of treats, but advertisements
can offer enough funding to encourage them. For example
, football players were dissatisfied with the facility that they used to prepare for tournaments, but as soon as Coca-Cola became the main advertiser for this
game, they immediately reconstructed the facility and offered all sports
supplies. Hence
, having advertisements
for sports
events
might also
have positive consequences, as it can provide enough funding. In conclusion, while
excessive advertisements
on sports
events
can grab the attention
of viewers, they can also
play a vital role as they offer funding. Looking ahead, such
advertisements
will likely become increasingly popular as large companies reap great benefits from them, such
as increased salesSubmitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve, ensure that each supporting point is fully developed with clear examples and explanations. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive. Consider expanding on how advertisements directly impact viewers' experience during the sporting events.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow and coherence. Using more transitional phrases could help. Additionally, consider providing more elaboration on the examples given to enhance comprehension.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, addressing both the positive and negative aspects of advertisements in sports events.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and offers a forward-looking statement.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized, and each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion