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Writing Samples
Band 7

the chart shows that male and female teacheres in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010

the chart shows that male and female teacheres in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010
The bar chart delineates the distribution of male and female
educators
Use synonyms
 across six distinct educational sectors in the UK in 2010. In general, female teachers are predominantly employed in foundational educational environments
such
Linking Words
 as
Pre-School
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preschool
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, Primary School, and Secondary School.
Conversely
Linking Words
, male
educators
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 are more prevalent in advanced educational contexts like Private Training Institutes and Universities. The highest concentration of female
educators
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 is observed in Kindergarten, where they represent over 95% of the workforce.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in graduate schools, female teachers dominate, comprising more than 90% of the workforce.
However
Linking Words
, as the educational level progresses, the percentage of female teachers diminishes, dropping to less than 60% in secondary schools and achieving a balanced gender ratio in colleges.
Conversely
Linking Words
, male
educators
Use synonyms
 are more prominently represented in advanced or specialized educational settings
such
Linking Words
 as private training Institutes and Universities. In Private Training Institutes, nearly 60% of
educators
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 are male, and
this
Linking Words
 proportion rises to almost 70% in Universities.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "conversely, such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words educators with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational setting
  • gender disparity
  • workforce distribution
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • further education
  • higher education
  • adult education
  • trends
  • implications
  • representation
  • gender roles
  • societal views
  • significant differences
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