Today the quality of life in large cities and other urbanized places is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

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In the present time, the quality of livelihood in civilized cities and other urbanized places has been diminished.
As a result
, I would like to discuss the causes of
this
statement and the better solutions. First and foremost, the distribution of the budget will not be widely spread to all populations. To illustrate
further
, certain people have died because of lacking money to purchase good medicine.
Therefore
, all politicians should reconsider the budget for everyone with equal rights.
However
, the increased population in the large town has an opportunity to raise the crimes since certain people without anything would like any benefactors for rearing the children or survival.
Hence
, the cities will be identified with the frightened towns.
Nevertheless
, to counter
this
attack, the government should find the opportunity to increase the budget for the development of the quality of the lower-class citizens
although
the upper-class citizens will lose any benefits from
this
.
For example
, raising taxes on individual incomes can help the poor get something to assist them in their jobs.
Moreover
, politicians should legislate strong legal to discipline in the community in the meantime, the citizens mutually have a duty to construct a better society without illegal acts.
Otherwise
, the residence regions will become the unsafe place to stay or live in them.
To conclude
, the distribution of the incomes by the population has played a crucial role in solving the problems.
Otherwise
, the social grade will be decreased because of the inequality of human rights.
Submitted by amittawin on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has some structure but it can be improved by using clear paragraphing to present each point separately.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more explicit by clearly restating the topic and summarizing the main points and the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be developed with more specific examples and explanations to make the arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response by addressing all parts of the task, including causes and solutions for the decreasing quality of life in cities which needs more elaboration.
task achievement
Aim for clarity in your ideas and arguments, using simple and clear language to ensure the reader understands your points without confusion.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and give concrete evidence of your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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