Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that some individuals enjoy living close to their
hometown
.
This
could be mainly
due to
the emotional
connection
as well as
they prefer living close to their parents. Living close to the family and living in a familiar environment are advantageous.
However
, there are detrimental consequences as well.
To begin
with, some
people
are inclined to live close to where they were born as they prefer living close to their loved ones. Taking care of them could be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main reason as parents grow old. Another reason could be that they feel an emotional
connection
with their
hometown
and may feel that leaving
this
place could break the
connection
they had since childhood. One evident advantage of living close to the birthplace is that
people
get to be around their loved ones.
In other words
, there is a close community of familiar
people
to support them in their life stages.
For instance
,
people
with
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
babies can get support from their parents to look after their kids when living close to them.
Moreover
, safety is another positive attribute. Familiar environments are safe and
people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
always get the support of the community in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncertain or challenging
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the main negative aspect is that individuals will not get the opportunity to meet new
people
and build new relationships.
Therefore
, they might miss the opportunity to learn new perspectives about life that could hinder their personal development.
Furthermore
, they
also
miss the opportunity to explore new cultures and new experiences outside
the
Change the word
their
show examples
hometown
.
For example
, I read in an article that
people
who live outside their hometowns are prone to succeed
70
Change preposition
in 70
show examples
%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, some
people
spend most of their lives close to their
hometown
as a result
of close family and emotional
connection
.
This
comes with both merits and demerits.
Submitted by madonnasama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address all parts of the prompt. You've done well in outlining reasons and advantages, but make sure to expand and provide detailed examples for each point.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your score further, try to incorporate a wider range of linking words and coherent paragraph structures that clearly separate your ideas.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more diverse and specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples or statistics can significantly strengthen your argument and provide clarity.
Task Achievement
You've effectively communicated the main advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows a good attempt at creating a logical structure, dividing the discussion into clear, thematic paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Settlement
  • Hometown
  • Roots
  • Community
  • Emotional attachment
  • Sense of familiarity
  • Social network
  • Bond
  • Safety
  • Proximity
  • Support system
  • Heritage
  • Limited options
  • Risk aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Unfamiliarity
  • Exploration
  • Adventurous spirit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: