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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is often argued that, in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
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 days
drivers
Use synonyms
 are not required to drive the vehicles. only passengers will be available inside the automobiles & it will run automatically.
This
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 essay will examine both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sides.
Firstly
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, a
driverless
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 car is fully dependent on technology.
Although
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 modern science is well advanced,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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still It is not advisable to be fully dependent on
this
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. Because there is a chance of error and malfunction of automation, which results in
an
Remove the article
apply
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unrecoverable damage
for
Change preposition
to
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 human beings.
For example
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, in
the
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apply
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busy cities traffic system is managed through different coloured lights. Unable to recognize when should stop and when may collision
between
Change preposition
with
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 another car. Sometimes
this
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 may lead to death
also
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.
Thus
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, it can be said that we are not
in
Change preposition
at
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 a stage
to
Rephrase
where to
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 believe technology fully to introduce
the
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apply
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driverless
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, the concept of
driverless
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 will create a huge number of unemployed people in our society.
In other words
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,
drivers
Use synonyms
 who are only skilled to drive vehicles, if
driverless
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 are introduced
then
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 they will have nothing to do for their livings. Not only
drivers
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 but
also
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 related industries with the
drivers
Use synonyms
also
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 face extinction.
For instance
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, a number of driver training schools are established to provide proper training to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
drivers
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. All the people in
this
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 industry
also
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 lose their jobs.
Moreover
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, automatic vehicles require good roads for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 Smooth operation, which requires a huge infrastructure development.
That is
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 not possible to manage for developing countries.
Thus
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,
driverless
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 will not
get
Verb problem
gain
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 popularity in our society.
To conclude
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, I believe that introducing automated
cars
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 drawbacks mostly like lower confidence
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
acuracy
Correct your spelling
accuracy
 of technology and creating
Jobless
Correct article usage
a Jobless
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 workforce.

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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the upcoming discussion points.
argument balance
Balance the argument by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages equally, if the question requires a comparative discussion.
depth of argument
When discussing technology, consider including potential advancements and safety measures that could mitigate the issues you've mentioned.
examples
Explore more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your argument. This adds depth to your points and makes your essay more convincing.
solution suggestion
Consider discussing potential solutions or future possibilities to mitigate the disadvantages of driverless cars.
structure
You structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is excellent for readability.
examples
You used relevant examples to illustrate your points about the risks of automation and the impact on employment, which strengthens your argument.
coherence
You successfully presented a coherent argument by linking your ideas smoothly through transition words and logical progression.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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