IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Describe the information shown below in your own words. What implications do the indicators have for the countries? You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Describe the information shown below in your own words. What implications do the indicators have for the countries? You should write at least 150 words.
#indicators #four #countries #nations #statistics #information #implications
The table below
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
 the social and economic indicators for
Canada
,
Japan
, Peru and
Zaire
 in 1994.
Overall
,
this
 data demonstrates that
Zaire
 has the lowest numbers
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the other countries.
While
Canada
 and
Japan
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the highest results. In detail,
Canada
Change noun form
Canada's
show examples
 and
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 annual
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 were11100US and 15760US respectively. The life expectancy at birth
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 76 for
Canada
 and 78 for
Japan
.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
Japan
 reports a lower rate than
Canada
 around 2846 and 3326 respectively.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the adult literacy rate
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
 the same results 99% in the two countries. Moving on to the lowest
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rank
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Zaire
 which
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimal value in adult literacy rate
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around 34%, in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand Peru indicate 68%. The life expectancy at birth in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both countries was nearly equal to 50. The same pattern was for annual
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 160 and 130 for Peru and
Zaire
, the daily calories per person
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 around 1927
Correct word choice
and 1nd
show examples
1nd
Change the ending
1st
show examples
 1749
respectevily
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Submitted by wjdan.areeshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, japan, zaire with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "indicate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • indicators
  • population
  • GDP per capita
  • life expectancy
  • literacy rate
  • infant mortality rate
  • prosperous
  • less developed
  • level of education
  • healthcare
  • improvements
  • services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: