Some people believe that the communication between family members is lesser today compared to the past. Do you agree or disgaree?
It is suggested that family
members
have less communication than the
past. I strongly agree with Change preposition
in the
this
statement.
There are several reasons leading to this
trend. The primary reason is that modern people
face more working pressure and competition than before because most job-hunting candidates have higher education backgrounds, enabling them to own more professional knowledge and skills in the severe job hunting
market. In order to land a decent job or get Add a hyphen
job-hunting
promotion
, most of them have to spend extra Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
time
on
learning new skills, like language and IT skills, which helps them become more competitive and stand out from the working environment, thereby having less Change preposition
apply
time
and fewer opportunities to chat with their family members
.
Another reason is the appearance of electronic devices. In the past, when people
want to spend their free time
, they do not have many options so most of them choose to spend with their parents or children. However
, these eletronic
devices, Correct your spelling
electronic
such
as mobile phones, TVs, and computers, become more popular and express the lastest
information in a more engaging and vivid way, Correct your spelling
latest
thus
becoming more attractive to people
, which means that most people
prefer these passive entertainment methods to kill time
instead
of companying with their families because they may think that the chatting between family members
is so boring that they cannot continue it, leading to less communication than the past.
As disccused
above, I believe that Correct your spelling
discussed
competitve
Correct your spelling
competitive
job hunting
situations and electronic devices are Add a hyphen
job-hunting
two
main reasons that lead to less chat between family Correct article usage
the two
members
.Submitted by yyyuanc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
sentence structure
Consider varying your sentence structure more to add sophistication to your essay. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your argument more compelling.
paragraph organization
Make sure every paragraph serves a clear purpose in your argument. Your essay is well-organized, but ensuring that each paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence can enhance clarity and coherence.
introduction technique
Try to paraphrase the essay question more effectively in your introduction. This will show your understanding of the topic and set the stage for your argument.
conclusion technique
Add a more detailed conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. This strengthens your argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
example usage
You provided relevant examples and reasons to support your points, which enhances the strength of your argument.
task understanding
Your essay shows a good understanding of the task and addresses the question directly. Keep this focus as it greatly aids in task achievement.
organization
The organization of your essay is clear, making it easy to follow your argument. This is essential for effective communication.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.