IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Your friend has a problem at work. He has written to you a letter and asked for advice about the ways to solve it. Write to him. In your letter: • Tell him that you understand the problem; • Tell about similar case that you experienced in the past; • Suggest possible ways to solve the problem. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ....,

#friend #work #advice #case #addresses
Dear Sam, I hope you doing well. I received your letter
last
 week that you are facing issues with tattoo straight lines at your work and it affects your clientele trust. In the tattoo industry, many artists suffer from the same problem and end up with faded lines. I can understand your concern because
last
 year I went through the same issue. There are so many ways to resolve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, you need to practice more on fake skin, draw straight lines on reel skin which is specially made for practising line work, and start practising on fruits because it will help you to put constant pressure on real skin. These strategies will help you a lot and don't forget practice makes man perfect.
Also
, don't forget to send me your practice work. I'll give you feedback and send you some tutorial video links about how to draw fine-line tattoos. I am sure you will learn
this
 so fast and I'm already so proud of you. Yours lovingly, Sam
Submitted by shubhdeepkaur2 on

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greeting and closing
Ensure the letter opens and closes appropriately for the context. In informal letters, like to a friend, greetings such as 'Dear [Name],', and closings like 'Yours lovingly,' are suitable and were used correctly here. Keep up the good work!
task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, consider elaborating more on your own experiences and how they specifically relate to the advice you're giving. This will make your suggestions more grounded and relatable.
logical structure
Maintain a logical flow by organizing your letter into clear paragraphs, each with its own idea or point. For instance, first acknowledge the problem, then share your experience, followed by your advice. This structure is somewhat present but could be more defined with clearer transitions and perhaps subsections within your advice for clarity.
single idea per paragraph
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a range of connectives to better link ideas within and between paragraphs. This will enhance the readability and cohesion of your letter. Phrases like 'Firstly,' are good but try to expand with others like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Moreover,' to introduce new points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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