IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?

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There is no doubt that these days fast
food
Use synonyms
 is favourable all around the world. Yet, there remain some disagreements as to whether its benefits are higher than its problems or not. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the advantages and disadvantages of consuming fast
food
Use synonyms
 will be discussed from the writer's point of view. In terms of the positive side, it is no disputable that a huge number of
restaurants
Use synonyms
 have been constructed in different nations.The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that it is easier and less time-consuming - especially when you are outside- to order from these places than
returning back
Wrong verb form
to return
show examples
 home and start cooking. To illustrate, when
people
Use synonyms
 come back from work they will be exhausted and hungry, so more likely to order a delivery of fast
food
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, modern life and spreading of the
restaurants
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 and the ability to get
food
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 in the fastest way lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 encouraging the idea.
However
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,
last
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 research showed that because of
this
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 transformation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
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's lives, the proportion of obese
people
Use synonyms
 has grown significantly.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 it causes a lot of diseases
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes, cholesterol problems and obesity.
Moreover
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, as to the full dependence on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
people
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 are not able to handle it when these
restaurants
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 close for some reason.
For example
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, lately, in the situation of COVID-19, all
restaurants
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 were forced to close,
therefore
Linking Words
, inhabitants were forced to make their own
food
Use synonyms
 in their homes which - most of the time- is healthy. By way of conclusion,
Linking Words
although
Change preposition
despite
show examples
 the popularity of fast
food
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 recently, its dangerous effects are much more.
Therefore
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, I believe that we should replace the quantity of fast
food
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 available on the roads and replace it with healthy
food
Use synonyms
 in order to develop our lifestyle and health.

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Task Achievement
While you've presented a balanced view encompassing both sides of the argument, incorporating more specific examples can enhance your argument's depth and relatability.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to use a wider range of linking phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your ideas more cohesive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revisiting your conclusion to include a more detailed summary of the arguments presented. This can reinforce your position and provide a stronger closure to your essay.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced view effectively, showcasing both the advantages and disadvantages of fast food consumption.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well defined, offering a clear overview and summarization of your perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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