Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society believes that
music
is a good method to combine individuals with different cultural backgrounds and
age
categories together. It is obvious that
music
is a
world
language without the
reqiurement
Correct your spelling
requirement
of words to understand it
however
beliefs in different
societies
and
age
groups can create conflicts
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
those
societies
related to the same
music
.
Thus
I partially agree with the captioned statement and the reasons are analytically presented ,in
this
essay. First and foremost, magic in
music
is its understandability and communicability even without the words, and
threrefore
Correct your spelling
therefore
societal and
age
barriers would not be acceptable with it.
Differen
Correct your spelling
Different
cultures have different musical instruments and melodies which are unique for them
while
youngsters have choices
which are
Verb problem
that
show examples
differ from adults . In spite of all these , good
musicmusic
Correct your spelling
music music
can arouse feelings in everyone, in every corner of the universe even without knowing what it is and bring them all together into one room.
For example
, in 2023 Sri Lanka female singer Yohani created a melody with more youthful in nature but it has been
embrassed
Correct your spelling
embraced
embarrassed
by people around the
world
without any
age
limit connecting her with the whole
world
and even with the most senior classical artists.
Hence
, good
music
has the power to bring everyone into a handful.
On the contrary
, unfortunately,
due to
the deep-rooted beliefs in some
societies
,and some senior powerful figures ,
music
can create wars in countries. Some cultural norms are associated with religious values;
thus
if somebody uses those melodies in an inappropriate manner that can
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
anger and violence among
societies
.
For instance
, once a Pakistanian musician used an Indian melody which is used to worship their god, in a rap song ,and that created a huge conflict between two countries and at
last
, the musician ended up in jail. In that case, even
music
can create unnecessary problems in countries. In conclusion,
music
has the power to be the language of the
world
connecting all together but
due to
misunderstandings, even
this
music
can create a fuss in
societies
.
Hence
,
this
writer is in partial agreement with the notion, "
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
people say that
music
is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together" .
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

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Language
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'communicability', 'embrassed' should be 'embraced', and 'musicmusic' should be 'music'. Consistent accuracy in language use enhances clarity.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate linguistic range and flexibility. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your argument more engaging.
Coherence
To improve coherence, make sure to clearly signpost your paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This helps readers follow your argument more easily.
Supporting Examples
It's great that you included examples to support your points. However, ensure that the examples are directly relevant and clearly explained. Try to elaborate on how they specifically support the argument you are making.
Vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to discuss nuances in your argument. This can help to more effectively convey your thoughts and the complexity of the topic.
Examples
Good use of relevant examples to illustrate points, enhancing the essay's persuasive power.
Argument Structure
Effectively addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a well-rounded perspective.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your partial stance on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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