In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

In the
last
few years, teenagers have preferred to
study
abroad and studying abroad is easier than ever.
However
, everyone can not
study
abroad and other
people
do not think studying abroad is good. Now, I will write both statements below in a detailed way prior to reaching but not least conclusion. Describing another factor on it, some
people
have
study
own
country
whereas
I think all
people
are not unaware how to
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
foreign
university
. Another big reason why
people
do not
study
abroad is that
people
get used to the culture, customs, food, and social interactions of their
country
of origin. The next reason is that may not pass even if send your application to a foreign
university
.
On the other hand
, most
people
want to
study
foreign
university
. Young
people
are no longer interested in studying in their hometowns
whereas
young
people
do not like their own
country
’s society, environment and educational system. If children who have travelled abroad when they were young have the goal of
study
a foreign
country
. They usually want to
study
higher degrees education, and culture and communicate
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
people
. In conclusion, some
people
prefer to
study
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
own
country
. I think they have no opportunity to
study
at foreign universities and they do not want to go out of our
country
.
Nevertheless
, most
people
search
opportunities
Change preposition
for opportunities
show examples
to
study
at foreign universities because they wish to
study
higher education. The
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of application a foreign
university
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
livingin
Correct your spelling
living in
living
anew
Correct your spelling
a new
show examples
country
, acquiring a lot of education and experience and communicating with new
people
. I
think
Add the particle
think to
show examples
apply a foreign
university
has a lot of advantages.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This helps strengthen your argument and keeps your essay focused.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly. Words like 'furthermore', 'however', and 'therefore' can guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a clearer introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should more directly address the essay question, and your conclusion should summarize your main points convincingly.
task achievement
Strive to present your ideas more clearly. Avoid overly complex or convoluted sentences, as these can confuse the reader and detract from your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your ideas. These can come from your own experience, observations, or relevant studies and can greatly strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You explored both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers the topic and provides reasons for different viewpoints, which is a good approach to the task.
coherence cohesion
You tried to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a positive effort towards proper essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: