Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Scientists
believing
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
computers
may become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
smarter than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
While
some say that
computers
may put
humans
out
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
, I still say that
this
is a good thing because they make
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
mistakes
in doing particular things than
humans
. On the one hand,
computers
are
to
Correct word choice
able to
show examples
do many things faster than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
can since they can do complex things
rapid
Change preposition
with rapid
show examples
speed and accuracy.
Because
Add the preposition
Because of
show examples
this
, many companies are replacing human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
at work to speed up their work and rate of goods.
This
can be seen in some shops where human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
are replaced with robots and
computes
Correct your spelling
computers
show examples
that help buy their items faster.
Consequently
,
this
can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
a negative impact as there won’t be many jobs for people to do if
this
continues
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
However
,
computers
becoming more
intelligence
Replace the word
intelligent
show examples
than
humans
is good because they make
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
mistakes
than people.
Computers
are designed to do particular
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
repeat
Replace the word
repeatedly
show examples
, and they may make
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
fewer
mistakes
in
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
.
Therefore
, many companies use
computers
to
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
make stuff
while
maintaining quality.
This
is evident with the use of machines in
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
. They help make products companies very fast with no
mistakes
in comparison to human beings.
Thus
,
computers
become more
intelligence
Replace the word
intelligent
show examples
than
humans
is good as it improves product quality. In conclusion,
while
computers
can
lessening
Wrong verb form
lessen
show examples
the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
human
Change preposition
of human
show examples
beings, I argue that
this
is a positive trend since
computers
make no errors in doing certain tasks. Once human beings know how
computers
can
challeng
Correct your spelling
challenge
them, they can take action to make less smart
computers
.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to vary sentence structures more effectively to avoid repetition and improve readability.
Logical Structure
Work on providing a clear and distinct introduction and conclusion. A well-defined thesis statement and summary of key points can greatly enhance your essay.
Grammar and Accuracy
Be mindful of typographical and grammatical errors. Even small errors can distract the reader and make your arguments less clear.
Task Response
While discussing both views, try to allocate equal space and depth to each perspective before stating your own opinion to ensure a balanced argument.
Content Coverage
The essay does a good job at discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the given topic.
Use of Examples
You've included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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