IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

6. Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #robots #humans #future #development #invention #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Robots
 have become a subject of debate when discussing future technological developments.
While
 some view them as crucial to progress, others fear their potential danger. Both perspectives offer valid points, which I will explore before offering my opinion. On the one hand,
robots
 are seen as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 essential tool for advancing human capability.
For instance
, in industries
such
 as manufacturing,
robots
 enhance efficiency by performing tasks faster and with more precision than humans.
This
 allows companies to reduce costs and increase production, ultimately benefiting the economy.
Moreover
,
robots
 play a significant role in healthcare. Robotic surgery,
for example
, minimizes the risks associated with human errors, leading to safer and more precise medical procedures. As technology advances,
robots
 are likely to contribute to even more sectors, from education to space explorations, expanding human potential.
On the other hand
, some argue that
robots
 pose serious risks to society. A primary concern is the potential for widespread job displacement, as
robots
 take over tasks traditionally performed by humans.
This
 could lead to unemployment and social inequalities.
Additionally
, there is the fear that
robots
, particularly those equipped with artificial intelligence, could become uncontrollable, causing harm if they malfunction or are programmed with malicious intent.
Thus
, the advancement of robotics may bring unforeseen negative consequences. In my opinion,
while
 the concerns about
robots
 are valid, their benefits outweigh the risks. With proper regulations and ethical developments,
robots
 can significantly improve our quality of life, provided that we manage their implementation carefully.
Therefore
, I believe
robots
 are a positive force for the future.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve flow and connection between ideas.
task achievement
You have a clear response to the task, but incorporating a few more specific examples, particularly in the second argument, could reinforce your points.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed all parts of the task, presenting a balanced view with a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly set the stage and summarize the central argument, respectively, maintaining focus throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: