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Writing Samples
Band 7

Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

#millions #tons #food #world
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In today’s fast-paced world, wasting a multitude of
food
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 has become a vital issue. I believe that it is
due to
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 poor management of the resources. The concern can be solved by making laws for production. First of all,
people
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 can afford to purchase many products for their consumption as they have enough money to spend. It sometimes leads to more wastage of
food
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 consumption as
people
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 really do not know how to appreciate
food
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. Recent research shows that approximately 68% of
people
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 throw their
food
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 into litter bins after they eat it only one time
instead
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 of storing it in the fridge in order to preserve the
food
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. Another reason is that more and more products have been introduced to the public. A magnitude of different kinds of
food
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 helps
people
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 to spend their money on buying unnecessary
food
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 which they have never eaten.
Therefore
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, a growing number of
people
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 do not think that they need to consume
food
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 for later use.
However
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,
food
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 wastage is not an intractable problem because the government can apply heavy taxes on the
food
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 industry.
In addition
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, laws have to be implemented in order to prevent
food
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 wastage.
For instance
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, there should be some rules about
food
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 consumption which may help the modern world to be a good place to live here. There are
also
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 some
people
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 who do not have any
food
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 to eat. It would be the better option to aid
this
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 kind of
people
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. It is evident that human beings are born to die, so it should be all wealthy
people
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’s duty to donate some amount of money to charitable organizations. In conclusion,
people
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 throw
food
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 away after meals because of several reasons but it can be removed by the government and
people
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 who want to alleviate
this
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 problem.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Task Achievement
Expand on the solutions offered, providing clear steps or methods on how laws or heavy taxes can effectively reduce food waste. This will enhance the depth of your argument and task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider providing a clearer link between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. Transitional phrases or sentences at the beginning and end of paragraphs can significantly improve coherence.
Language Use
Introducing a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, especially synonyms for repeated words like 'food' and 'consumption', can enrich your essay's expression.
Task Achievement
Avoid making broad or unsupported statements, such as attributing food waste solely to wealth or the availability of various food products without evidence. Seeking to provide balanced viewpoints or evidence strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
You effectively address the topic and provide both reasons for the issue and potential solutions, showcasing a strong understanding of the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a solid framework for your essay.
Task Achievement
You make use of examples to support your points, such as the statistic about people throwing away food, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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