Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of people consider that developments in technology have made our daily lives more comfortable,
while
others believe these advances have made us less talented in the important parts of living. In my view, the advantages that technology has brought to us outweigh its drawbacks.
To begin
with, the world has undergone massive positive changes because of developments in the technology field, such
as transportation and communication. Cars have changed their efficiency and options and provide a huge number of functions that help us to be more convenient, for example
, self-driving cars that do not need any driver and people could spend their time on other activities. Additionally
, media and programs have provided several methods to us and made us able to interact easily in distant areas, for instance
, until around 1890 people had to send envelops and that was really challenging and also
took a major amount of time, nonetheless
, since reforming in communicating the population are able to send their massages in a second to remote locations.
On the other hand
, this
new method has brought several disadvantages, such
as a less active lifestyle that is
done by humans and isolation. the citizens used to walk through long areas to be able to buy some materials or have access to some equipment, although
, these days simply any individual can do it by ordering on their phones and we do not need to travel to massive areas and we fulfil all our needs from home, moreover
, social media is mostly used by the young generation and it is challenging for older to figure it out, as a result
, they can not connect with their children out relatives and gradually might develop depression and feel isolated from society.
In conclusion, automation has changed our lives in a more convenient and faster way, there might be some negative aspects, such
as a less active population and isolated elderly. However
, in my opinion, this
is completely positive because we can live our life in a more quality and more effective way.Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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Grammar and Flexibility
Ensure there's variety in sentence structures to demonstrate flexibility and accuracy in your writing. Mixing complex and simple sentences effectively can enhance clarity and readability.
Vocabulary Enhancement
Though the essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, working on more precise and varied vocabulary could strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Paragraph and Transition Usage
You did a great job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use transition words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Example Use
Providing real-world examples or more detailed support for your arguments can make your essay more persuasive and engaging. It shows the examiner your ability to apply theoretical knowledge practically.
Introduction and Conclusion
Good use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, clearly stating your viewpoint.
Logical Structure
You've structured your essay logically, with paragraphs dedicated to discussing each side of the argument before concluding with your opinion. This structure makes your essay easy to follow.
Use of Examples
By incorporating examples like self-driving cars and the evolution of communication methods, you provided support for your points, demonstrating understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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