IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others think it`s better to live in countries with cold climates.

#people #climates #it`s #countries
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In an era characterised by independence and the freedom of choice, individuals have the right to live wherever they desire.
However
, there is a significant debate among those who prefer hot climates versus those who prefer cold ones. Personally, I lean towards living in a warm climate
due to
 the abundance of sunny
days
 and the fewer dark
days
 it offers. In
this
 essay, I will outline my perspectives on
this
 matter. Primarily, equatorial weather has a benefit of 300
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 more sunny
days
 each year, which is way better than arctic weather which has up to 90 clear
days
.
Moreover
, countries with tropical climates receive a lot of direct sunlight, which increases the clear-sky
days
.
According to
 recent statistics, sun warmth releases a big amount of stress and
therefore
 plenty of mankind
lean
Replace the word
leans
show examples
 towards deciding
this
 habitat.
Nevertheless
, the presence of access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
out-door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
 activities all year round makes life way better. Corresponding to the main concept of the individual types of sports, they require an outdoor environment to practise their skills. In most cases, extreme
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 lovers are restricted
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the availability of surfing, swimming and others.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the mood of mankind rises every single day.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

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Introduction
Try to clearly state your thesis statement at the end of the introduction for a more impactful beginning.
Word Choice
Avoid the common mistake of writing 'mankind' when referring to people or individuals in the context of lifestyle preferences. It might feel a bit out-of-date and too general.
Sentence Structure
Increase the variety of sentence structures used in your essay for a more engaging read.
Paragraphing
Make sure to clearly divide your essay into paragraphs, grouping related ideas together. This helps in making your essay more reader-friendly.
Argument
You've successfully developed a clear argument supporting the preference for hot climates.
Evidence
Your use of specific examples, such as the number of sunny days in tropical vs. arctic climates, effectively supports your points.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well, reinforcing your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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