The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?
A vast number
if
Correct your spelling
of
cities
and towns
were constructed in ancient time
. These were Fix the agreement mistake
times
best
Correct article usage
the best
places
to live for people
. However
, these are not
longer suitable nowadays. Correct your spelling
no
This
is due to
the fact
that these towns
and cities
lack public transportation
and essential modern facilities
such
as hospitals and schools. Hence
, local governments should release public transportation
vehicles
and start to establish necessary facilities
.
To begin
with, the main causes of towns
and cities
are
changing for insufficient to live is that these Unnecessary verb
apply
areas
are lacking of public transport and necessary modern facilities
. Therefore
, locals
in these places
are complaining from
those and moving to Change preposition
about
others
parts of the country. Correct quantifier usage
other
For example
, Aswan
city
in Egypt Capitalize word
City
has
constructed and developed Verb problem
was
in
old Change preposition
by
president
Nasser in the 1900s. Capitalize word
President
Nevertheless
, three fifth
Change preposition
of fifth
people
moved from the city
to Cairo by fearing
Wrong verb form
because of fear of
Correct article usage
the difficulties
difficulties
lifestyle. Obviously, Replace the word
difficult
Aswan
do
not have any metros and buses to travel in Change the verb form
does
Correct article usage
the center
center
Change the spelling
centre
city
and some important public places
namely libraries and public parks. As a result
, majority
of Correct article usage
the majority
locals
encouraged
to move to modern Add a missing verb
are encouraged
areas
.
Some possibilities to solve these problems are creating public transportation
vehicles
and establishing necessary building
. Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
For instance
, Turkish
Correct article usage
the Turkish
government
developed its city
which is Bursa
. In fact
, Bursa
is a
extremely old Change the article
an
city
that was not good
Correct article usage
a good
places
to live in the 2000s. Fix the agreement mistake
place
Thus
, the government
began to establish bridges and roads for transportation
and built Bursa
university
. Capitalize word
University
Consequently
, the city
is one of beautiful cities
today.
A vast number if
Correct your spelling
of
cities
and towns
were constructed in ancient time
. These were Fix the agreement mistake
times
best
Correct article usage
the best
places
to live for people
. However
, these are not
longer suitable nowadays. Correct your spelling
no
This
is due to
the fact
that these towns
and cities
lack public transportation
and essential modern facilities
such
as hospitals and schools. Hence
, local governments should release public transportation
vehicles
and start to establish necessary facilities
.
To begin
with, the main causes of towns
and cities
are
changing for insufficient to live is that these Unnecessary verb
apply
areas
are lacking of public transport and necessary modern facilities
. Therefore
, locals
in these places
are complaining Change preposition
about
from
those and moving to Change preposition
about
Correct quantifier usage
other
Correct pronoun usage
other
others
parts of the country. Fix the agreement mistake
other
For example
, Aswan
city
in Egypt Capitalize word
City
has
constructed and developed Verb problem
was
in
old Change preposition
by
president
Nasser in the 1900s. Capitalize word
President
Nevertheless
, three fifth
Change preposition
of fifth
people
moved from the city
to Cairo by fearing
Wrong verb form
because of fear of
Correct article usage
the difficulties
difficulties
lifestyle. Obviously, Replace the word
difficult
Aswan
do
not have any metros and buses to travel in Change the verb form
does
Correct article usage
the center
center
Change the spelling
centre
city
and some important public places
namely libraries and public parks. As a result
, majority
of Correct article usage
the majority
locals
encouraged
to move to modern Add a missing verb
are encouraged
areas
.
Some possibilities to solve these problems are creating public transportation
vehicles
and establishing necessary building
. Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
For instance
, Turkish
Correct article usage
the Turkish
government
developed its city
which is Bursa
. In fact
, Bursa
is a
extremely old Change the article
an
city
that was not good
Correct article usage
a good
places
to live in the 2000s. Fix the agreement mistake
place
Thus
, the government
began to establish bridges and roads for transportation
and built Bursa
university
. Capitalize word
University
Consequently
, the city
is one of beautiful cities
today.Submitted by ab.ciyani on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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General
Avoid repetition of the entire essay content. This does not add value and takes space that could be used to explore your ideas more deeply.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids reader understanding.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general
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