Some people think that art lessons, such as painting and drawing lessons, should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Integrating
art
subjects
must be mandatory in the
school
curriculum
which is considered by some flux of
people
and I largely agree with
this
statement because these lessons lessen
pupils'stress
Correct your spelling
stress
as well as
can unearth hidden talents which bring them towards career development. To commence with,
people
who are opposite of
above given
Add a hyphen
above-given
show examples
view consider that these
subjects
might consume student's precious time which should be applied on other important
subjects
such
as mathematics and science. To explain it, if children are given time for painting and drawing
subjects
which get their attention more than
other syllabus
Change the wording
another syllabus
other syllabi
show examples
then
they will not be able to concentrate on science
subjects
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of interest in these challenging
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
,
thus
, they would not opt other career paths except
art
subjects
. Shifting towards the view of agreement, implementing
art
lessons not only
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
student's stress but
also
sharpen their thinking skills. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, today's younger receive a lot of work from their mathematics and other
curriculum
instructors which leads them towards depression,
therefore
, if these
subjects
are applied in pupil's
school
curriculum
then
they will divert their attention towards fun activities and it will assist them to reduce some burden from their mind.
For instance
, a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by Harward University in 2016 found that some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
added
art
subjects
and students are more excited than before as they enjoy painting and drawing
along with
challenging
subjects
.
Furthermore
, these essential
subjects
are
also
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a fact of
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
life as some students show their hidden talents by
paintings
Fix the agreement mistake
painting
show examples
and earn a lot of money by choosing
this
career.
For example
, a headline
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shown in an international newspaper that in India 55% of
people
who are disabled draw paintings and earn money for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
,
consequently
, these
subjects
become a source of poor and disabled
people
's income. In conclusion, applying some interesting
syllabus
Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
show examples
in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
curriculum
not only
mitigate
Correct subject-verb agreement
mitigates
show examples
children's stress but
also
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
to earn
Change preposition
in earning
show examples
money by showing their hidden talents with the help of painting and drawing.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • creativity
  • self-expression
  • curriculum
  • mental well-being
  • stress reduction
  • unearth
  • hidden talents
  • compulsory
  • equality
  • disengagement
  • motivation
  • additional resources
  • financial strain
  • core subjects
  • well-rounded
  • critical thinking
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