IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, in many countries, only a small number of
students
Use synonyms
 are opting for
science
Use synonyms
 subjects at the university
level
Use synonyms
. I believe there are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, which could have significant repercussions for society. From my perspective, selecting a scientific discipline as a major necessitates long-term goals and meticulous planning. One major deterrent is the extended duration required to complete these studies, which may result in a lack of sustained financial and emotional support from families.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the inherent difficulty of
science
Use synonyms
 subjects poses a substantial challenge for many
students
Use synonyms
, potentially leading to
unsuccessful
Correct article usage
the unsuccessful
show examples
 completion of their degrees.
Science
Use synonyms
 unequivocally demands a lively and creative intellect, causing some individuals to abandon their pursuit of it.
Additionally
Linking Words
, even after graduation,
students
Use synonyms
 who majored in
science
Use synonyms
 may struggle to find employment
due to
Linking Words
 their lack of experience.
This
Linking Words
 is because certain scientific roles prefer candidates with more practical experience, suggesting that young graduates might not be immediately suitable for
science
Use synonyms
-related jobs.
This
Linking Words
 trend
also
Linking Words
 has profound implications for society. On an individual
level
Use synonyms
, it could exacerbate competition in other academic disciplines,
such
Linking Words
 as business and management, thereby increasing academic pressure and creating a vicious cycle. On a societal
level
Use synonyms
, the declining interest in
science
Use synonyms
 subjects diminishes their perceived importance, which is crucial for the development of society, including advancements in technology and space exploration.
This
Linking Words
 decline could hinder the progress of societal technology. In conclusion, the decision to study
science
Use synonyms
 at the university
level
Use synonyms
 is fraught with challenges, including the rigorous academic requirements and the need for a long-term commitment. These challenges contribute to the insufficient number of
students
Use synonyms
 pursuing
science
Use synonyms
, which could have lasting negative effects on both individual career prospects and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
broader societal advancement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider providing specific examples or data to support your points, which can make your argument more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
A more varied use of transitional phrases could help improve the flow between your ideas, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have done a superb job of clearly articulating your main points and structuring your essay in a logical manner.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay effectively frame your argument, providing a clear overview and a strong closing statement.
task achievement
Your response comprehensively addresses the prompt, demonstrating a thoughtful consideration of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: