the bar chart demonstrates how many sex that people had in given period

The given bar chart illustrates the number of sex that

pople

Correct your spelling

people

had for males and females in five categories from 1998 to 1999. Units are measured in hours.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can clearly be seen that men do it more than females on all employment statuses in the given period.

Moreover

Linking Words

, unemployed people had the most frequent sex rather than other groups. In terms of the higher frequency, which is males, the number of sex they had throughout the period stood above 40.

Unemployed

Add an article

The unemployed

show examples

full-time group was the lowest on

this

Linking Words

where it was recorded at around 48. For the other two groups, Unemployed and Retired were the highest at about 85 and approximately

Change preposition

apply

show examples

83, respectively. Regarding the lower times gender, the categories of Unemployed and Retired in females had a similar trend with males which were the biggest number at just below 80.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the Housewives group stood at about 50

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

followed by Employed part-time at precisely 40. For the

last

Linking Words

category, there was employed full time which only stated just below 40.

rezaf.permadiMon Apr 01 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

▼

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

175 words

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the bar chart demonstrates how many sex that people had in given period

Some people prefer to live in big cities, while others enjoy living in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Buying things in internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more popular. Do advantage of this outweigh disadvantage.

It is more important for a building to serve a purpose than to look beautiful. Architects shouldn’t worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that exams are the best way of measuring how a student is performing. Others, however, believe that there are better ways to measure performance. Discuss both views and state your opinion.