Do you agree or disagree with government giving money to artists, rather than health care system?

#government #money #artists #health #care #system

In today's globalisation era, art

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

ubiquitous entertainment. In terms of

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

point of view, it will earn investments and income tax. The

government

may argue that it is necessary to give

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

the artists,

rater

Correct your spelling

rather

show examples

than

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care

system

This

essay provides strong disagreement with the

government

's thinking because giving

money

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care

system

is more essential.

First,

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

care

system

is an integral part of

public

Add an article

the public

a public

show examples

facility

Fix the agreement mistake

facilities

show examples

in the city. One of the criteria for

liveable

Correct article usage

a liveable

show examples

city is the public

facility

. It is so crucial

for having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

well developed

Add a hyphen

well-developed

show examples

health

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

care

system

because citizen's

healthiness

Replace the word

health

show examples

can not be neglected.

Moreover

, the well-being of the society is

also

when we are able to get a proper

health

care

system

such

health

insurance, and proper amount of medical

practicioners

Correct your spelling

practitioners

, and

health

care

facility

Fix the agreement mistake

facilities

show examples

Moreover

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

can earn

money

by themselves.

Otherwise

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

care

system

is not looking for any profit.

Government's

Correct article usage

The government's

show examples

support for funding the

health

care

system

is urgently needed. Some people will argue when

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care

system

costs

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

money

instead

of giving

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proper service.

Thus

, we need to urge that

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

health

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

care

system

is not looking for any profit.

To sum up

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

needs to give

money

to the

health

care

system

rather than artists

because

Change preposition

for

show examples

some reasons. It consists of urgency for hosting proper public

facility

Fix the agreement mistake

facilities

show examples

, and not looking for profits.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Apr 01 2024

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Enhance the depth of your essay by incorporating a broader range of examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.

Coherence & Cohesion

While your essay has coherent structure and progression, try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to demonstrate more sophisticated cohesion and coherence.

Task Achievement

You've provided a clear stance on the issue, which is excellent for task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a good logical structure, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to strong coherence and cohesion.

Task Achievement

You've successfully supported your main points with relevant details, enhancing the effectiveness of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

230 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you agree or disagree with government giving money to artists, rather than health care system?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: • Say that you liked their photos of your family • Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event • Give them the details of the event.

In Some Countries, Criminal Trials Are Shown On Television For Public. Do The Advantages Of This Outweigh The Disadvantages

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

The claim that animals have rights has been subjected as a matter of debate since the 1970’s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned?