Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that it is beneficial for
school
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children to participate in competitive
sports
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from the point of view of education
whereas
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others believe that it has negative impacts on them.
Although
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there are some negative aspects of competing in
sports
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, I believe that the benefits are more significant to educating
school
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children than the drawbacks, especially when it comes to playing
sports
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as a team. Competitive
sports
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can be detrimental mentally and physically for teenagers and it might cause some negative results.
This
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is because the excess motivation towards triumph can lead young people to force themselves to practice harder, resulting in hurting themselves without noticing it.
For example
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,
according to
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the NHK
sports
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programme broadcast in 2010, 80% of high schoolers who belonged to soccer or baseball teams have experienced anxiety and depression
as well as
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arthritis.
However
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,
this
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can be mitigated if their mentors and coaches can instil a method of controlling their emotions and offer physical and mental care to them. Turning to some of the upsides to competition in
sports
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, we can see a great number of benefits in that kind of sport. One of the good examples is that it can enhance a sense of camaraderie within a team.
That is
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to say, the feeling of winning against the opposite team can make teammates cooperate together and create a stronger bond between them.
This
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could
also
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improve the performance of each member, leading the possibility of winning to become more realistic. In Japan, most of the high schools actually have some competitive
sports
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such
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as basketball and baseball in PE classes.
This
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allows Japanese teenagers to learn about how essential to cooperate with each other is to win a game in
sports
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. In conclusion, it is argued that we should have competitive
sports
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in
school
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for the youth in terms of education. Even though there are some downsides to them, I believe that the upsides to that kind of sport should contribute positively to the
school
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's education.

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task achievement
Make sure all your points are clear and supported with examples. Try to explain your ideas more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better. This will help your essay flow nicely.
task achievement
Try to give a more balanced view before stating your own opinion. This will help make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, especially about teamwork in sports.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
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