IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative on society?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #society
In
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people are being replaced in the workplace by
robots
 and Al. Among these, the rise of
robots
 and artificial intelligence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 driven by a potent mix of economic and practical factors, businesses are increasingly turning to automation.
However
, the impact of these on
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 likely to be mixed
while
 there are significant potential benefits, we need to
be prepare
Change the verb form
be prepared
show examples
 for the challenges as well.
Robots
 can perform repetitive tasks tirelessly and with high precision, something humans can struggle with over
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 period. Al can analyze vast
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of data much faster than people, making it ideal for tasks like financial trading or scientific research.
Thus
, it is
robots
 that are being developed to change humans in the workplace. It is
complex
Add an article
a complex
show examples
 issue, here is a breakdown of
robots
 and artificial.
According to
 job displacement, as automation increases, some
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 will inevitably be lost, leading to unemployment and economic hardship.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it may not be evenly distributed, potentially widening the gap between rich and poor. In conclusion, the fluency of
robots
 and Al in the global will be multifaceted.
While
 automation offers exciting possibilities for increased productivity safety,
job
Correct word choice
and job
show examples
 creation. Navigating
this
 technological shift responsibly will be crucial for shaping a positive future.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your arguments, such as citing real-world cases where robots or AI have impacted the workplace positively or negatively.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Ensure a clear distinction between introductory statements and your main argument to engage the reader effectively from the start.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the complex nature of the topic, recognizing both the potential benefits and challenges of robots and AI in the workplace.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively organizes your ideas and enhances readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: